Bad Wisdom by Suzanne Vega
My family always used to be moving, because of my parent's job. The longest we had lived anywhere was 2 years. Which makes sense that noone noticed what was happening to me, we had to move before anyone could.
My brother Matt is 8 years older than me. When I was 5 he started beating me on a regular basis, by the time I was 6 it turned to touching, he called them games. The first game he ever made me play was doctor. It wasn’t the game I was used to playing in school.
Later that year he came into room one night and raped me, this went on for years. It was when we moved to Kansas when I was 10 that things became so much worse. He started drinking and doing drugs constanly. Our parents were out of town for their anneversy so they left him in charge. He brought his friends over, they started drinking and smoking stuff. I didnt think it could get any worse but boy was I wrong. They tied me up and started torturing me, cutting me, carving words into me, raping me, and so much more. That night I was praying that they would just kill me (I’m glad they didnt).
Eventually he graduated from high school and we moved again. Finally the abuse was over...well in a sense because I relive all it my mind. Last year I told my parents and they didn’t believe that their 4.0 perfect athlete son would do such a thing. It makes sense that they didn’t believe me, I mean who would want to.
So now we are at the present...I put my life back together despite my family. My brother got out of rehab not to long ago and put his life back together as well, and I still am forced to see him. Maybe he has changed, who knows. Not to long ago he gave me a package with pictures and a video tape of some of those nights. He says its up to me what I want to do with them. That’s where I am know, A 16 year old child deciding my own brothers fate. I love, after all he is my brother, but this time I am not letting him take the easy way out.
As hard as it is going to be I’m pressing charges. No one should be allowed to get away with sexual abuse.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
~ Mohandas Gandhi