Are you a good witch or a bad witch? Which?
Deciding whether to tell someone about what has happened to you and who to tell is always a difficult decision to make. Sadly there is no guarantee that you will receive a good response and I - along with many survivors - have lost several friends as a result of disclosure. Does that mean I regret telling - no - I view what happened as a part of me and if people don't want to know that they they don't want to know me. I have also had some wonderful reactions from people which has helped me to heal.
People may react negatively to what you tell them and this can be incredibly painful. Aphrodite Matsakis
describes this as secondary wounding (see the books page
for more about her work). Being called a liar, told you are exaggerating, that you should be over it or you should have done more to prevent it are all common examples of this.
My worst experience of this was from the church. I had been in the church at the time and had naturally turned to them for help at the time. They unfortunately did not know how to deal with me and the experience was extremely negative. If you have had a hard time in the church and you wish to read more about my experience with the church please see this page.
If you have had negative reactions from loved ones or have lost friends as a result of telling then I am sorry for the pain that must have caused. Remember that are worth being believed and cared for and deserve the best responses from those around you. For advice for friends of survivors please check the Scarecrows page.