Over the Rainbow - a site for survivors of any unwanted sexual activity
    From "The Europeans" - Howard Barker
A young girl, Katrin, has been gang raped by the Turks during the fight between Islam and Christianity. She describes her rape in detail to officials. The difficulty of trying to describe what happened comes across strongly in this speech:
Scene Two

KATRIN: In my own words. (Pause
Words of my own. (Pause)
The poor have neither words nor drawers. (Pause)
Oh for literacy, oh, for mummery, oh, for any pack of lies! (Pause)

"So the four soldiers said" (Pause)
No.

No. There may not have been four. And they may not have been soldiers. But they did have weapons and the Turk does not wear a uniform so for the sake of. (Pause)

Lets say four. (Pause)
The four soldiers said lie down; well they didn't say it, no they did not say the words they indicated by very simple gestures this was expected, words were dispensed with, words were superfluous though much language was expressed on either side, by me, by them, but words, not really no. (Pause)

Consequently I lay my face down on the relatively sympathetic grass. Of course I am not in the least bit ashamed description comes easily to me but can I have a glass of water? The dryness of my mouth suggests anxiety but I have had a dry mouth since my throat was cut, some channel or some duct was severed, something irreparable and anatomical. (A NUN places a glass of water by the chair and withdraws.)
It's you who are ashamed not me but I forgive in all directions and then one of them threw up my skirt excuse me. (she drinks.)
Or several of them, from now on I talk of them as plural, as many-headed, as many-legged and a mass of mouths and of course I had no drawers, to be precise. (Pause)
I owned a pair but for special occasions. This was indeed special but on rising in the morning I was not aware of it, and I though many things, but first I thought "no, I exaggerate, I claim to know the order of my thoughts, what a preposterous claim" strike that out, no, among the cascade of impressions - that's better; that's accurate - cascade of impressions - came the idea that at least I did not have to kiss. (Pause)
The lips being holy, the lips being sacred, the orifice from which I uttered my most perfect and religious thoughts only the grass would smear them but no. (Pause)

Can you keep up? Sometimes I find a flow and then the words go, torrent, cascade, cascade again. I used that word just now! I like that word now I have discovered it, I shall use it probably ad nauseam, cascading! But you -(Pause)
Then they turned me over like a side of beef, the way the butcher flings the carcass, not without a certain familiarity, coarse handling but with the vaguest element of warmth, oh, no, the words are going, that isn't what I meant at all, precision is so...precision slips even as you reach for it goes out of grasp and I was flung over by this many-mouthed thing. (She shudders as if taken by a fit, emitting an appalling cry and sending the water flying. The nun supports her. She recovers.)

Now I've spilled the water - don't say there's more where that came from - so it is with life; don't mop the floor, I can take it from the floor, so my mouth (Pause. The NUN withdraws.)

My mouth which I had held to be the very shape and intimacy they smothered with wet and fluid - I don't think you can call them kisses - yes, yes, kisses, they were kisses I try to hide behind the language, oh the language I do twist like bars of brass to shelter in, no they were kisses because a kiss can be made of hatred; kisses, yes, oh, yes (Pause)
They soaked, they drenched, they swilled me with their kisses, and bruised my lips and bit my mouth and thrust these thousand tongues into my throat and this was only the beginning you with the book and pencil wait!

   
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