I know that I haven't been abused like most of the people here, however, I feel like my story is just beginning. When I was 14 (I am now 18)my father introduced me to a friend of his. This man was 38 at the time. Now, my father had no way of knowing what this man would do and try to do to me. The story begins slowly, simple touching, louring me away from my family, causing arguments with them so that I would be upset.
Then, he started trying to get me to walk off with him. He was married at the time, and had a child my age. His son liked me alot, and even asked me on a date. Only, when we went out, he said that he would love to date me, except his father wouldn't like it very much. I asked him why, and he said because he wants you for himself. I never thought much more about that, until one day when I was at a large party with my family and HIM. I'll call him John. Well, I was wearing a beautiful dress, my favorite dress in fact, and he noticed. Oh, did he notice. He kept trying to pull me away from everyone and tried to get me into his room at the hotel. I wouldn't go, of course, but that didn't stop him. He made me slow dance with him to "I'll Make Love To You". Throughout the entire song he was groping me and kissing my neck and telling me how much I meant to him. I was tense, and he noticed. He said relax....I won't hurt you...then he paused and said, on the other hand, maybe I w will. I couldn't look at him anymore the same way.
I'll skip the long storys, there are too many to write but, I have been warned numerous times by many people that he has stalked me, following me to my car when we are where we are. (It's a racetrack where my dad races.)
A few times he has actually waited for me at his truck and tried to lure me in. Telling me that he wants me to go for a ride. I am afraid that if I get in, I'll never get out alive. or, in one piece.
The thing is, I have been actually tempted just to sleep with him and get all of this over with. It is tearing my family apart, because he hasn't done anything yet that we can have him arrested for, or even get a no contact order. I can't do anything until it is already too late. All I can ask is that the Lord protect me, and that all of you pray for me. I only have 2 weeks before I have to confront him again. May the Lord see me through... and May I have the courage that you all have had.
I am 21 now and almost through with college. No one in the world knows about what I am going to write. I know that I have some serious issues caused by my abuse but for a long time, I have been telling myself that I am capable of not allowing them to "disrupt" my life.
What triggered some recent anger and depression was last month my best friend was visiting and she told me about a conversation she had with my mom where my mom basically gossiped about me saying how I was afraid of getting into relationships and how I never bring guys to meet my family. As if she knows me, she doesn't.
When I was 3 my older brother(7) and I were babysat by a woman who had two sons(8&10). She was a heavy woman and couldn't climb her attic stairs so they would bring me up there and they would take off their clothes and my brother and one of the boys would pull my tights down, make me lay on the floor and have put their penises inside me.
When I was six I was at my dad's house, a house he shared with a single mother and her two kids, a 12 yr. old girl and 14 yr. old boy. One day the three of us were horsing around in the boy's room. For some reason the girl left, leaving the two of us. He got on top of me and kind of rubbed into me (clothes on.) After awhile we got up and going downstairs the girl walked by me and said, "Did you have fun humping?" I was really embarrassed.
From age 7 to 9, my brother would play a "game" where he would pick me up and lay me down and kind of pretend to have sex(with our clothes on.) He would ask me to say things during it. During these same ages I would spend weekends with my dad who had remarried and I had a stepbrother who was six years older. At night after our parents went to sleep he would bring me into his room and show me his dick and have me touch it, or sometimes put pillows between us and get on top of me. He was usually naked and I would still have my panties and nightgown on.
All of this stopped by the time I was about 10 or 11. But then my mom had a boyfriend who treated her well. He used to leave crates of porn magazines around so I looked at some. He also used to rent a lot of porn movies. I never watched them but I knew when he was watching them at night. One night his 13 yr. old nephew was visiting and they were watching one. I walked into the living room and the nephew got up and said, Shouldn't we turn it off? My mom's boyfriend looked at me and said, No, it's okay.
Less than a year later I woke up in the middle of the night to him staring over my bed looking at me. I said, as calmly as I could, and sleepily, like it was no big deal, Oh, hi ___. He left. A few months later I woke up and it was dark in my room and he had his hands between my legs touching me through my jeans which I had fallen asleep in (thank god.) My mom was due back from a business trip the next day and I was very scared. So I just pretended to be sleeping and tried to keep my legs as straight and together as possible. I do remember trying to work up the courage to reach up and turn on the light to confront him but I couldn't.