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Survivor Stories

Well, it had been a bad week i had just come home from virginia beach, va. The day befor my 15th birthday. And seeing that i used to live there i visited all my old friends. My best friend, ill call her jen, had a lot going on, so i was trying to help her. She had been raped by her brother's,ill call him tom,best she is a year younger than me and i knew it had to be hard for her. To make maters worse tom almost killed his so called friendby beating to death and ran away.

So when i got home i was worried about all of that. So worried that i forgot to tell my friend who was throwing me a big party the saturday afrter my 15thb-day that i broke up with my boyfriend before i went out of town. Well at first it wasn't that big of a deal i just "forgot" he was there,a little well forgoten i guess.i was staying the night at my friends house after the party because there was a big mess to clean up and i was coming off of a small buzz.she was still really high and past out 30 min. Bfore everyone was to go home.well my ex. Who i might add was sober refused to leave.

It was about 3 a.m. by this point and all i wanted to do was go to bed.i fought with hime trying to make him leave with no luck. So i went to my friends room and started to fall asleep, when he came in. Every guy i had ever dated new i was a virgin and he knew it just as well. I fought with him for almost 30 minutesand just couldn't fight anymore. All i could do do was lay there screaming and crying as the tore my virginity away from me.

I never really told anyone: to thisday my father still doesn't know how his little 15 year old girl got pregnant. He just thinks i was have sex with a bunch of guys in my neighborhood. Nine months later my father tore my beautiful little baby boy away from me and now acts as if my son who was adopted by familynever was or ever will be. Yet he teases me by taking me to see my son from time to time all i know is his name which is alen, that he is 40 lbs., Almost 23months old, and looks like me. I miss being a teen and a virgin, but most of all i miss being my sons mom.


Okay I'm not that good at telling this people especially since I've never told anyone. IT's been almost about 10 years and my family still doesn't know. Am very afraid to tell them! So here it goes..........

When I was about 6 years old My step grandfather started touching me in spots that I knew that nobody should touch. I felt dirty and afraid. I was petrefied. He never loved me and trearted me and my sister like garbage; and I thought that if I let did what he told me to do we would get treated better, but it never happen. I knew by then that what he was doing was wrong, but I felt so ashame that I just tried to avoid him. One day he was abusing me while my ants were a few rooms down the hall in my grandmas room. When my sister and I left Mexico I felt so relieved. I was so happy that I ws never going to go through that againg boy was i wrong.

A couple of months later my moms friend husband started touching me. I was asleep and I felt something weird I woke up and I saw him touching me in the one place I thought tha I was never going to be touched again. This didn't last long thank god.

When my friends talked about being a virgin I felt dirty and I wasn't sure that I was one. When I finally got the nerve to sleep with my boyfriend I was so afraid that he would tell that I was abused. Like I said before I never told anyone not even him. When I saw that I was bleeding I realize that My grandfather didn't take my virginity, but he did take my innocense. Now hate my grandfather is sick and I feel like his paying for what he did to me. I don't know if I'm doing wrong for feeling a sense of happiness,but I do I feel happy.

Liza Castillo

I am 23 but my experience happened 9 years ago. I have talked to my current boyfriend about this and he does his best to help me but still sometimes I feel the pressure of what happen.

I started dating this guy when I was 13. It was wonderful, he never tried to pressure me into anything. We had been dating for a year before he even kissed me and he asked me if it would be alright. I thought I was in love. He treated me so great. We had minor disagreements but nothing we couldn't work out.

The summer before entering High school things changed. I was going to Virginia to visit with my sister for the summer and he wasn't happy about it but it was a wonderful oppurtunity for me to get to do something different. A few months before I left he started pressuring me to have sex with him. We were doing some light petting by now but he knew that I was one of those girls who wanted to be married first. I kept telling him I wasn't ready but he persisted.

Finally I gave in cause he said that if I loved him I would and I did. The whole experience lasted if we were lucky five minutes. I was so scared and unsure that I was unresponsive and he had never done it before either so he didn't realize that I wasn't ready or he didn't care I don't know which. It turned into the most horrible experience of my life so I thought. Two days later I left for Virginia.

When I returned he was moody and short tempered. We started arguing. He threatened to hit me and I said if it will make you feel better go ahead. I didn't think he would. He beat me till I couldn't even cry. Afterward he held me and said he was so sorry that he loved me and he would never do that again, it was just that he missed me so much it ate at him during the summer. I forgave him and for a while things were OK.

He then decided that he wanted to try sex again and I told him I definatly was not ready for that experience again. He backed off but one day we were at his grandparents and he started pestering me again and we got into a fight. He pinned me down on the floor and started to undress me. I struggled but considering he was 6'5", 250+ and I was only 5'4" and maybe 135 I didn't stand much of a chance. He got so mad at my struggling that he smashed my head into the leg of a chair. I was so stunned that I stopped struggling and he forced himself into me. I cried and started to beg him to stop. He just ignored me and kept pushing himself against me. The next thing I remeber is that he stopped and leaned close to my ear and told me he was coming inside me. I freaked but he just held me there till he was done.

This was the begining of almost two years of hell. Stupid me I stayed with him and he continued the beating but he only raped me twice since that time. He used other forms of ceorcion to get me to do what he wanted. I felt so filthy and dirty and he made me believe that no other guy would want me. Probally though the worst part of the ordeal was the names he called me and the things he said. If he was in a "good mood" he would ask me "Does my little girl like that" I believed that I was to blame for what he was doing. I was so afraid to tell anyone cause his family had friends in the right places.

I had two friends who figured out what was going on although I never did talk to them about it. The helped me get away from him. Unfortunatly this guy is still in my life because of my job. Good part is that I don't see him that much. I still have some bad days even though its been nine years. I still remeber most things like it happened only yesterday. Tonight happens to be a bad one.

I know its hard on my boyfriend sometimes because there is alot of things that remind me of what happened. Sometimes just being touched a certain way or the way something is said when were together can trigger a reaction and he tries to be understanding. But like he says He loves me and as long as we communicate we can work through it. I hope he can be that strong. cause he is a wonderful guy and there are plenty of them out there. If you keep your hope you'll find him. It took me seven years to find him. Before I found him though, Sometimes when the nightmares andflashbacks came I just let them and then let myself cry and it helps. I hope this helped someone to realize that even though its hard there are ways to get through it. If anyone would like to talk to me, my email is Thanks for the chance to tell my story.

im: Bartoksgirl

Tell your story.

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