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Survivor Stories

I am a 46 year old female who was a victim of incest when I was in the fifth grade. My mom and dad divorced when I was six years old. Dad had gotten custody of my older brother and myself so we moved in with his mom and dad. My dad, brother and myself shared a room.

When I was in the fifth grade, my dad decided I was to old to be sharing a room with them. So he remodeled a building outside of the house and made me a bedroom all by myself. I was so sad and would set on my bed and cry and watch until my dad would turn out his light. My grandmother decided she would start sleeping with me since I was having such a rough time. After a few nights of that, my grandfather decided that he wanted me to come to his room and lay with him. This continued and with time, he would continue doing more and more things to me. Finally it ended with him having sex with me.

I was so young and naive. Sex was not talked about then and I had no idea what it was. I only knew that I hated for night to come and hear my grandfather calling for me to come to his bed.

The thing that is even worse, is that my grandmother never did come to see what was happening to me nor did she ever ask any questions. This lasted for about a year of my life. Afterwards, I put it out of my mind and never recalled it again until after I was married and had my third child. It has been devastating and almost ended up in my death. I had an attempt at suicide in September of 2000. Thank God I didn't suceed. I am now in therapy and am looking forward to a time when I can deal with all that has happened to me. Thank you all for letting me tell my story and I will be praying for all of you.

Barbara Ann Laws
im: blaws44

hello my name is heather i'm 12 years old. i was raped two weeks ago, since then i have just tried to commit suicide here is my story:

it started like any other day on saturday i was going to the aqaurium with my friend becasue i was in biology class there so i went for a sleep over, there was a guy there that i had talked to a few times and he was hanging around me and my friends max and lawrence, they were telling me that i should stay away from tian (the guy that was hanging around me and my friends) and saying that he looked like he was a sexual abuser i said yeah right, god i wish i had listened

the volunteers were giving a tour around the aqaurium and tian notiched how bored i was and said c'mon lets go somewhere else, being bored i said yes (BIG MISTAKE) so we went to the whale info part and he turned to me and said i really like you ur so beautiful, that struck me as odd i said thank you and walked a little faster, he asked have you ever kissed a guy? i said no and he kissed me i was surprised because i had a low self esteem and thought he like me he actually likes me!!! so i kissed him back

then he started kissing me and walking be towards the wall where he slammed me against the all and i started crying and said why the fuck did you do that! he just said shut up you whore, take your clothes off i said no then he kicked me sevrel times in the stomach and just blacked out when i woke up to an incredible pain between my legs and i could feel him on inside of me and it hurt so much, i said please stop he just ignored me and finally i blacked out i woke up to him slapping me he said get your clothes on you little slut! i started crying and he said awww little bitch couln't take it too bad bitch!

i finally wondered back to the volunteers and said nothing they said what happened? i said i hit something and blacked out. they said okay and the day passed and my mom picked my up and tian called me all the times but i finally got my parents to change the line on the phone.

i don't know wher this bastard is but i hope he knows how horrible he is he took my innocence for his pleasure i hope he rots in heel for a ternity that bastrard.

icq: 103605027

(im sorry ahead of time 4 my spelling and grammer) hi my name is shana(not really anyway)iam currently 16 going on 17 and ive been reading a lot of these stories and just the thought that any of this could happen to any one especilly a kid is descusting and im not entirely shure my story shoud be up but i need to get it out so here it goes

it probly started when we moved to califoria we lived it an appartment complex i was about 6-7 i made friends with a girl c. we hung out all the time then she moved we kept contact had sleep overs anyway after she moved i met an other girl n. we use to go to a park that was behind the appartments 1 day we went down to play around and just have fun i think we had found a walet & we asked an old man sitting near by if it was his he said yes and we continued playind later he asked us if we whanted to see some pitchers and we said yes he showed us pitchers of naked men

i was still young and didnt know anything about sex so we stayed looking then he said something abouth looking 4 his niece and if we whanted to see a secret fort(back then those were cool to me)so again we said yes he walked us back behind the appartments but we were still in the park..the appartments sat on a hill the park was on th bottom of it but behind anyway..there was a spot were a feance was serounding a generater or something and the hill was right next to it making a small space there he said he whanted to show us something and pulled down his pants and show us his dick and played with it he asked if we whanted to touch it & i dont remember if we did then he said he whanted to see ours but i said that we had to go maby later & we left i went home and never told ANY one

after that things were bad 4 me i have a cousin M. hes a year younger than me and to this day i love him to death i have always thought of him as a brother or twin we were so close but when he came over with hes mom, dad, littel sis, and bro 4 a vacation...... when we were alone we would look and touch notthing big we were still kids but still... it went on till we were 8-10 we had talked and agread that it was bad and that we were going to stop(we were still just looking and touching notthing big)

we wernt going to tell anyone but i sapose hes sister saw or heard or something cause she said something to her other brother in frount of there mom and things snowballed after that i remember being scared and my mom & dad fighting with his mom & dad i dont remember geting in troubal or going to docters things werent ruined between them the thing i remember was thinking ..knowing that i would never see him again that was the worse thing that happend to me i dont know about him i still saw him after but it wasnt the same someone was allways there or watching(there was an other girl in the appartment we looked once or twice)

but the thing is i cant be shure of what happend in the park maby something did happen and i dont remember and thats why that^happend with my cousin but i do know i probly ruined his life we dont keep in touch anymore a letter 1 a year at the most iv allways whanted to say sorry and ask him to forgive me so things will go back at least a little the way things were between us but i cant cause im scard

theres something iv knowen sence i was little iv knowen it its a feeling in my chest its that no one in my family has ever loved me they may but only cause im family like its an obligation to them the only exceptions are my mom,dad,sister,nino,nina, and grama....... its as if no one eals ever whanted me around and this was befor all THAT happend

thers one more thing sometimes i think maby something did or was happing to me befor the park i have 3 suspecks in my mind 1 im ashamed to say hes 1 but i gues ill never know every one in the family knows about my cousin but know one knowes about the park and itll probly stay that way ill never feel right around my family cause of the feeling i get but ill allwayes love every one even if th feelings not mutual and ill allways think of my cousin as my brother well i just had to tell someone i kept all that in 4 a long time and i dont know if my story should be up but if you do or dont e-mail me and tell me thanks for lisening


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