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Survivor Stories

well its been only about happened on july 14th i had moved in with my dad because my mom wouldnt allow me to see my boyfriend(well x-boyfriend now)i was only 13 then,i`m now 14 but thatz besides tha point.

well i guess i`ll tell you about me and michaels(names have been changed)relationship.before michael i had gone out with alot of guys that treated me like shit.but michael was different whenever i needed him he was there he loved me and i loved him.then after a couple of months michael became very obbsessive he convinced me that my parents didnt care about me and friends just used me. he said he was the only person who really cared and i began to believe it.i then isolated myself from my friends and family if i wasnt with michael i was on the phone with him.he called me nonstop,but i didnt think that was weird.

then after 4months (thiz would be in june i think)michael started to change he wasnt the sweet guy i remembered we began doing mor esexual things at first i enjoyed but then after awhile it began to get old very fasy .it was like thatz all he ever wanted to i finally told him and he said that if we stop doin stuff he would get bored and go and cheat on me so we continued doin things.he also changed in another way he became violent he would hit me for the stupidest reasons if i wouldnt say i love you ,if i made plans with my friends just little things.then one night i went out with my friends and 2 of them are guys and we went out bowling,well i had a black eye but i tryed to cover it up besides it was dark so i didnt think theyd notice.after that we went out for pizza and my 2 guy friends asked why i havent been hangin out with ouir group lately and i told them i had been sick.(this was the excuse i had been usin for about the last 3 weeks)so they knew i was lyin.then while we were eatin my friend kyle asked y i had a black eye i just said i ran into a wall they knew i was lyin and so kyle said if he ever sees so much as a bruce he would kick michaels ass.and so i got pissed off at them and left.

when i got home i hade about 50 messages from michael he sounded very angry so i called him back he started callin me a hoe and said i was out cheatin on him and all kinds of shit.but we made up then in the middle of july michael came over with his friend and me and michael were foolin around while his friend was in the other room.then i decided i wanted to change so i went into the bathroom and i guess i forgot to lock the door then michael came in i asked to please get out but he said no so i said well could u at least close the door?so he did then as i was tryin to get my jeans michael pulled my panties down i told him to give them back but he wouldnt he pushed me against the sick and i hadnt noticed he unzipped his pantrs then he tryed to stick his dick in me and i said no then i pushed him against the wall and told him to get the fuck out but instead he pushed me against the wall and i hit my head some how he got me on the ground and held me down and raped me i was a virgin .

then i kicked him in his dick and he called me a bitch and left the bathroom i then locked myself in the bathroom .then i michael started poundin on the door and told me to come out so he could say good bye i just screamed at him and told him to get the fuck out then his friend(his friend was also my friend)asked what the fuck he did and michael said nothin shes just bein a bitxch then his friend came up to the door and asked if i was ok i just said i was fine and told him to they left.

well to make a long story short i told one of my friends and she told my mom.i didnt press charges but the police did michaels on probation and has to go to counseling i have a restraining order also .i still see michael around town sometimes .the whole town knows what happened.he tells people that i wanted to fuck him and he said no so i got pissed and told the cops he raped me .but he pleaded guilty in court and that mde me feel alot better but i still miss him and love him i know it sounds strange but i now realize that no matter what my friends and family r always there for me i also have a steady boyfriend and he and i are takin it slow thank u for listing if u need to talk anytime my email is


I am 24 years old now and the past 12 years have been a living hell for me! When I was 11 my grandmother died very suddenly, which was my mothers mum. My Mum took all this very badly and was treated for depression and anxiety, which meant that Saturday morning shopping was a marathon for me as I had to calm Mum down. Anyway my parents were just starting out in the pub business and they were relieving at our local. Due to this we had to stay in the flat above the pub. Now unlike others, my abuse only lasted over a week but it was a week that has scarred me for life.

By now I was 12, one evening I was listening to some music in the lounge and my Dad came through to watch a bit of TV before he started work, Mum was already downstairs working! I decided to go into my bedroom which was set furthest away from the flat exit, after I had been in there a while my dad came in and started play fighting with me, as we often did so I thought nothing of it. Then he started touching my chest and had me pinned down on the bed with one hand on my chest and the other on the bed. I was trapped and HE was trying to kiss me, but he never managed. I started to feel a little uncomfortable with the situation so I tried to leave the room. Very calmy he asked me to come and sit next to him on the bed, so I did. Thats when he started to say about Mum being ill. I noteced that his voice was shaking and to this day I freeze when ever someones voice become arroused. He was saying that how he thought i was old enough.....and then every thing is a blank. All I remember that I ran out of my room crying and shaking violently. He then followed me and tried to calm me down. I stared him in the face and told him I could never trust him EVER again. He began apologising and saying that it was just as well we didn't as it would have been a bit embarrassing.

What I haven't told you is the incidents before all this like I would be making a coffee in the kitchen and he'd come up behind me and have an erection which was rubbed againt my bum, then he wanted some toilet paper and he opened the toilet door for all to see. I guess my abuse was more mentally then physically.

To this day I feel like it was only yesterday, my life up until now has been shit, men treating me like a door mat, always been afraid in the house on my own with him, I remember in our old pub the bathroom didn't have a lock on it so I waited until Mum was upstairs for me to take a bath and that was a two week wait!

Now though, I feel things are changing, although I am currently being treated for depression and panic attacks I am living with the most caring and loving person I could ever wish for and we have recently got engadged and tomorrow I am going to see a hypnotherapist about my past. I tried a counsellor but he advised me to come face to face with my dad and ask him why. I just can't do this, my parents are still together and he is being treated for depression too. Hopefully one day I will be able to at least block it out of my mind but for now I'll just keep trying.

Thank you for listening, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise, I'm proof!

Rebecca Hewitt

i have sat here reading other peoples stories, and i don't even know how much of a right i have to tell my story as they all seem so much worse than mine, but anyway here it goes:

it was december 25th 1996, i was 15 and had been seeing this guy for a few months, i told my mum and dad that i was going to see my friend in the evening of xmas day as they wouldn't have approved of me seeing this guy (he was 18). So i arrived at his friends flat, that is where he told me to meet him, when i got there he was there and so was 3 of his friends, we started off by chatting having a few drinks and talking about the new year, after a few drinks i need to use the toilet as the drink goes right through u so fast doesn't it?

i went to the toilet and i unlocked the door, when i opened it i saw all 4 of them standing there, i made some joke about a queue for the toilet, then they pushed me into the bathroom, and pushed me to the floor, i tried to get back up but they wouldn't let me, 2 of them was holding me to the floor and the others were taking off my clothes, thats how it went, 2 of them would hold me down while the one would be raping me and the other making me take his penis in my mouth, i can't remember how long this went on for, it seemed like an eternity. when they finished i could hardly talk my throat was so sore where they had held it, and my wrists were so red, i also had some bruises from where i struggled with them.

i remember leaving the flat and going to sit on the beach until the early hours of the morning, so i could sneak into the house without my parents seeing there was nething wrong with me. i didn't tell anyone about this for 6 years, the first person i told was my ex boyfriend he was understanding at first but he got bored with it after a while.

i met my current bf on the internet and he lives near me, we have been together for 4 months now and he is so kind about my past, when i wake up in the night he is there holding me tight and talking about things to cheer me up and take my mind off the dream i just had. i still think about that night and it hurts, but i guess if u find the right person to tell it halves the load that we have to carry...stay safe everyone xoxoxox


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