I have never told anyone this. Cause it is my deepest, darkest secret.
last year my friends talked me into going to a rave. (a crazy warehouse, dance party where teens go get drunk and do drugs). Im not the kind of girl, that thinks having a good time is getting high, and pissed out of my mind. But there were tons of people there that i knew and there was so much going on. I was given many drinks through out the night, one thing led to another and finally i was both high on exstacy, and drunk. dancing around kissing guys i didnt know and falling all over the place scared me and my friends. They tried to make me stop, they took me outside so that i could cool off and get some fresh air. I promised that i would stop all my foolish acts.
3 Hours later it was 4 oclock in the morning, i was outside naked, lying on the ground surrounded by garbage and broken alcohol bottles. Not having the slightest clue of what just happened, out of my mind i got dressed and crawled myself to the front.
I had been raped, by 3 different guys. each taking turnes inside of me. i never thought that guys could ever do that to a little innocent girl....but i was wrong.
If you think that it will NEVER happen to you, think again, and most importantly be careful! Dont trust anyone
My story begins a long time ago well when i was about 9 or 10 years old..My best friend and i always used to take turns on who would go to whos house over night.I always feared going to Tanyas house her dad would watch us whenever we went to sleep he looked at us while we were sleeping and evern in the bathroom..Well i'll get to the story.
While i was spending the night at Tanyas house one night..We were just getting ready to go to bed.And her dad walked in in his towel.We werent really sure what was happening here.We just started laughing and told him to go..He said no i'll just stay here and get dressed.He sat on Tanyas bed and pulled his towel off he told us to close the door and lock it..We did we didnt know what exactly to do because her mom wasnt home yet from work..he made tanya take off all of her clothes and lay on top of him while i sat there naked too.He watched me as he dad sex with tanya then he pulled me on the bed and started to finger me while tanya sucked his penis..it went on for a long time and endless weekends from there.We never told any onwe and were still scared too but hopefully someday we will tell..
I am 15 and this just happened about six months ago.
My friend Sean invited me over to his house for a keg/birthday party he was holding for a mutual friend, so I said sure. I got there around 11:30. There was about an ounce of weed, two kegs, three bottles of liquor and lots of munchies. With the help of the weed, keg stands, and shots of liquor, we were all pretty much smashed within the next hour.
Around 1:00, the birthday boy left with his girlfriend, and about four other people, leaving only Sean, me and two other people. Then, this guy I had never seen before walked in with one of his friends. They were two of Sean's friends. All drunk, I tried to explain to them that I had to be home before 8:00AM (when my mother got up for work) and had to be sober, so I had to stop drinking. DJ quickly said "I have something that you can take that will make you sober by then and you can still drink for another hour!" Then Sean looked at DJ and grinned. I said sure and he handed me a little white pill and told me to take it with my next shot.
So I did, figuring I trusted Sean to not let anything happen to me. About 20 min. after I took it, DJ asked me if I felt any diff. I told him I didn't know if it was making me sober, but it was making me really relaxed and hot. I felt as if nothing could go wrong in my life. No worries. He then told me to stand up, and without even thinking, I did... as if he some how had control over my body. He then started to take my shirt off. I told him I didn't want it off, but it was like I couldn't force my hand up to push him away. He told me that I was lying. That I did want my shirt and pants off and it was like I believed him, so I let him. Then he picked me up and carried me to the pool table naked. He pulled down his pants and put on a condom. I said no, but it was like I didn't have the energy to yell or push him away. He pushed me down gently and got on top of me. I said stop in an unbelievably calm voice that surprised me. He leaned close to my ear and said, "Do you really want me to stop?" and nibbled on my ear. I couldn't say yes. I tried SO HARD! But, I knew even more deep down that I couldn't say no.
So I just layed there arms to my side and started crying as he entered me. The side of the pool table was digging in my back. I didn't even have the energy to scoot down so it wasn't pushing into my back. I layed there for a good 10 min. after he had finished and gotten up. It was like I suddenly snapped back into reality, but still didn't have much energy. I slowly sat up and asked for Travis (who had been the closest of my friends out of all of them) and Sean came over to me and explained that he went upstairs when DJ took my shirt off. I looked around and realized tat everybody (besides Travis- including Sean) had been watching. I was so embaressed. I quietly asked Sean to get my clothes for me. He did and I got down from the pool table and got my clothes on. I sat on the chair and cried for another 20 min. or so. The whole time AJ and Sean kept asking me why I was crying (as if they cared!!!)
Finally, I got up and said "I have to go home" and made my way slowly up the stairs. Sean followed me and when I made it to the front door, I heard Travis behind me asking Sean what they did to me. I didn't hear the response because I started crying hysterically and made my way out the front home, still very drunk and buzzing from what I now know was the ecstacy DJ gave me and as I was walking through his lawn I heard Travis asking if he wanted him to walk me home. I threw my hand up in dismissal, put on the fakest smile I think I've ever given and told him I would be fine. I remember walking across the street staggering. I don't know how I made it home that morning. I don't even remember any of the 15 min. walk, besides that humiliating walk across the lawn knowing they were watching me nearly fall.
I have only told two people since then. My best friend, and my current boyfriend. I don't think I will ever find the courage to tell my mom, for fear she will blame me as I do.