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Survivor Stories

First, I would just like to say that to anyone and everyone that reads this, if U have ever been tramuatized like this, always remeber you are not alone.

When I was 12 years old, my family and I were vacationing at a very beautiful area in the Virgin Islands. On one of the trips to a beach across from our hotel, I met Steve. He was a very smooth and very perverted 14 yr old. The difference in age wasnt much, but the sexual maturity is in 2 different worlds between those ages.

Anyways, he seemed nice enough, and when he invited me to go for a walk to the back of the hotel, I agreed. As soon as we were out of sight, Steve began to slowly move in. He held my hand and hugged me a lot. Being dumb in the sexual dept., I figured he was just being friendly. We were both only in our bathing suits, and the sun was so hot, we stopped walking to cool down. I sat down on my towel, and Steve sat next to me. After a few minutes of silence, Steve began to kiss me. He shoved his tongue down my throat, but becuz I didnt wanna embarrass myself in front of an older guy, I went along. Then he began sliding his hands around my body. I wasnt comfortable with this, and I had seen people walking our way, so I pushed him away and began walking back to the beach. He screamed out "bitch" and walked in the opposite direction. I figured my short fling was gone forever. Little did I know..

The next night, I was swimming alone in my hotel pool, which is basically on the beach. I was sitting on a chair, no one was around, when I heard someone talking. I figured it was my brother goofing, so I walked down the beach to find him. I only saw Steve for a minute, and then I was on the ground. Steve said if I screamed he would slit my throat so fast I'd die before anyone saw us. He ripped off my suit and took off his shorts, and inserted himself into me. I had just "became a woman", so blood was all over. The pain shot through my stomache, and I felt like someone had stabbed me. I begged him to please get off me, I would not say anything if he stopped, but he just closed his eyes and continued. He would open his eyes and see my tears, my fearful look, and immediatly shut them again, because I know my face told him what he was doing was wrong. After he was done, he wiped the blood off him with my suit and walked out of my life. I felt so disgusting, so dirty. I still shudder when I think of it, to this day. And I still have never told anyone. Its hurting me so bad. I have bouts of depression. I considered suicide almost daily. I took tons of pills, so scared I had a baby inside me. Please, if you were hurt, tell someone. It will help heal you. I wish everyday I had told. My innocence was taken by a boy that didn't even bother to know my name. I am both bitter and depressed, now, even 4 years later.

Ashley
im: krn310gurl


It all started when I was visiting my uncle in California. I was taking my cousin's to the park, along with my 2 sisters and 2 brothers.

We had walked past a house, and there was a few people out there. One guy ran up to me and just started talking to me. He came along to the park with us. We talked the whole time. He was the most gorgeous guy you have ever seen. He was 18 years old and that was the problem. See because I was only 14 at the time.

Then he had asked me out on a date. Not thinking I said yes.

That night we went to see a movie. Every other day/week we would go out together. Then one night scared me.

He brought me to his house and no one else was home. We sat on the couch, then he told me that he loved me. He started to kiss me, I liked it so I went along. He then started pulling of my shirt and unsnapping my bra. I pulled away. Then I got up and ran out of his house.

He then ran after me. He got into his car and started following me. He kept telling me to get into the car. I tried not to pay any attention. I yelled at him and told him to leave me alone. He wouldn't leave me.

I looked around for the closest house. Then I saw a little old lady looking out the window signalling for me to run into her house. I did. He came into the house and just started coming after me. I was hiding in a bedroom. He came into the bedroom and just tore off all my clothing. I tried to knock him off me. He hit me.

The lady could hear me screaming, she called the police. They came and ran into the room where we were. They tore him off me. When they were taking him out to the car he was yelling, "YOUR LUCKY, YOU KNOW THAT!"

After that I am still trying to trust men. I am 19 now and I am still very scared. Be careful, thats all I have to tell you. I wasnt careful and I was punished.

Leah


Hi my name's Ginny. I was raped by my best friend when i was 7, although much of my memory of this time period had been blocked untill recently. I'd love to talk to anyone who's experienced anythign similar, maybe we could help each other? anyway heres my storey: It all started years and years back, I was about 18 months old. My parents then lived on a high country sheep and cattle station. They were cooks/gardners, we lived there till i was about 4or 4.5 my little sis was acctually born there.

They made friends with many of the workers there. But the ones they were closest to were the only others with children, Caroline and Russel, and their two boys Paul (13 when we left) and Mark (10/11 when we left). I was best friends with mark, not suprisingly as there were no other children in the nearby vercinity to play with.

After we moved back to town, Mum and Dad remained friends with Caroline and Russell. We often went to visit them, particually as where they lived is on the way to where my grandparents lived, so we prolly visited every 2-3 months. Everytime we visited Mark and my friendship grew better. Neither of us was aware of the age difference, it didn't seem to make a difference to either of us.

The christmas i was 7, going on 8, we decided to go camping on farmland VERY close to their house. When it came time to go home, i still had a week and a half before i had to return to school, so when i was asked if i wanted to stay i quite gladly said yes, happy as to spend some more time with my friend. The first night there it begun.

He started off coming over to the bed i was sleeping in (i slept in his room) and telling me he was going ot play "a really fun game" he told me to take off all my clothes and he'd tell me the rules, i didn't really want to but he insisted. Because i loved him i gave in. I did as he asked. He told me to stand there, on the bed, and though i guess it was prolly only a few hours i stood there, i was young, it was late, i was tired, cold and i wanted to go to sleep.

I eventually started to cry, a very uncommen occurance i'm a strong person, and i don't show emotions easily, i was fine but he kept insisting i not sit down. He just sat on his bed and looked at me...when i started to cry, he paniked, and pushed me into my pilllow, and held me there (unable to breathe) untill i stopped sobbing, then he left me went back to his own bed and fell asleep.

The next day, he took me many places over the farm he lived on, each time we were alone, He would tell me that he really liked the game we had played, and that he wanted to play again tonight, but a bit different this time. I didn't want to, i dreaded going to bed that night. This time when he came over, he didn't just let me stand there. He ran his hands all over my body, and eventualyl ended up climbing into bed wiht me. He took off his clothes, and forced me to touch him...I'd never even remmebered seeing a naked male before, and certainly never one "turned on" it was a pretty big shock to me. I hated every minute of it, and i kept sobbing and trying to get away, everytime i sobbed, he would hit me. Usually around the middle of my body, eventually he hit me so hard it broke the skin

I still have seveal scars on my stomach from him hitting me. He was a very strong person (worked on the farm a lot, it happens!) and my attempts to stop him were pathetic at the best. He forced me to play with him, till eventually he came., of course at 7, i didn't know what had happend! i acctaulyl remember thinking he'd pissed on me. In fact i always did think that! After that he went to his own bed. The next tow nights were similar, except that before he made me touch him, he would play wihjt me, usually just sticking his fingers into me. and believe me at 7 that REALLY hurts.

he'd uisually end up making me play wiht him...then a little later making me suck him... i alwasy thought he was pissing in my mouth... I hated doing it, but every time i refused...or even worse did something more stupid, such as biting him..i was severly reprimanded. He's hit me, or worse still...he'd stick things into me, I'd plead with him i'd be better...Stupid move, i think he liked the pleading..i'd have rather he hit me, it hurt less....The next night is one that has for a long time been missing from my memory...lately parts have been coming back. at one point...he covered me in vaseline, and forced me to do the same to him This is how i know he raped me....i remmeber there being a lot of blood on the sheets the next day, and not getting up till late, caroline commenitng it not being like me to be late up...i was in so much pain i didn't want to move all day. Mark washed the sheet...i think he told caroline i wet the bed, because she gave me a lecture about being a good girl and not doing baby things. She thought that i was just ashamed and i didn't want ot get up, and i didn't want ot be wiht ppl. Everytime i tried ot be alone, mark would find me, and do similar things to me. The nights were similar to the first couple till i left. The last day we were togeter...we went swimming. Took him not veryt long to have my togs off....this time i remember the pain...and the water going red with blood..as he went in. I used to wonder abotu that day, if he had raped me, or if it was just his fingers, but then, once i'd acctually had sex, i knew that he had to have raped me to get that pain, and that amount of blood.

I left later that day... I was very quiet and withdrawn (AND IN PAIN!) for the next few weeks at school. my friends deserted me,a dn everything he had told me (see list below) became true to me and has been ever since.

##What he told me (main things)##

Ginny
icq: 57160973


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