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Survivor Stories

Well, where do I begin? I've read alot of these stories and it really makes me sick to think about all these degenerate assholes in this world.

It happened when I was 14 years old. Me and my best friend Jen had cut school and went to her boyfriend Dave's house. His older brother Jeremy was home, and I was really close to both of them. So, I was sitting there talking to Jeremy while Jen and Dave had gone to get cigarettes and food. Jeremy(who was 19 at the time) started talking to me about how he heard that I thought he was really sexy and all this. I was attracted to him, but I also had a boyfriend whom I had been with for about 9 months, so I told him that I wasn't interested. He kept telling me this was the perfect opportunity because nobody was home and he was attracted to me too.

I don't know why, but I sat down on his bed and he started kissing me. I can still remember his putrid "morning breath" taste. At first, I didn't really mind because I was attracted to him, and he didn't know my boyfriend, ao what was the big deal? He started reaching up my shirt and I don't even remember how, but it came off. I started to get up and told him I didn't want to do this. He said that everything would be fine, and I relented. We were friends. He wouldn't hurt me.

He reached down and unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off. I was really excited but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach too. He started to push my head down toward his penis, but I refused. I told him to get off of me, and he refused saying that I had gone that far, what was it if I had sex with him. I told him I was a virgin and he got a big smile on his face like I said that to make him happy or something.

He reached over and picked up a condom and he put it on. Iwas frozen with fear. I had no idea what to do. He was a big guy about 6'4" and 250 lbs. What would I do against him? He inserted himself into me and pain shot throughout my whole body. I asked him repeatedly to please srop, but he wasn't taking me seriously. He kept going, in and out, in and out, over and over again. Finally, he looked down and there was blood all over the place. He got up and showed me, and I started to cry uncontrollably. By that time, Jen and Dave were back and she came in and helped me clean myself up. I bled for about 6 hours, non-stop, and I was throwing up all over the place. I had insane cramps and diarehha. He had torn something inside of me , thats why I was bleeding so much. I didn't tell anyone for a very long time, because in a way, I feel like it wasn't rape. He didn't hit me, but he knew I didn't want it. Ever since, I have a very hard time trusting people and when I do have sex, it hurts really bad and I can't orgasm.

I am praying for all of you who have had the misfortune of meeting these worthless pieces of shit. I truly wish you the best in recovery.

Name Withheld


I was born in Ft. Hood Texas November 3rd 1979. My father was in the Army. My mother and father never really got along, I remember them fighting, drinking and doing drugs. My parents never really abused my brother and I, but my brother abused me. He is only 3 years older than I am, but that did not stop him from beating me, pushing me out the window, chasing me with a knife and holding me down, molesting me.

I was molested ever since I could remember, from the time I was born, till I was 18, off and on by many different people. I was taken from my home and put into fostercare when I was 5, after my father had gotten out the the Army, when we all moved to Crecsent City Ca. I was in about 11 differnts fosterhomes and a few group homes. I was beaten, molested and emotionally abused in most fosterhomes.

The worst foster home I was in was when I was ten years old. I moved to a foster home that I was told was going to be fun, and they (being the foster parents) were looking for a little girl to adopt. I was so happy. After a while of being there, things started to change. My foster mother started being crude. She put me on restriction from having any sugar, even natural sugar wich included fruit. She would make me a peice of plain toast in the morning on my way to school. Luncvhes at school were very slim, because the school teachers were told that I had Diabeities, and could not have any sugar. When I got home after school, I always got spanked, my foster parents assumed I disobeyed them at school. They would make me take off all my clothes, and send me to my room. (Wich I was sharing with my 14 year old foster sister, my foster mom's child. My foster mother would make me bend over with my hands on the bed, with nothing on. Sometimes she would make me stand there for hours, then she would come in with the paddle, and hit me as many times as she felt. Eventually, I had no life.

I was not able to have any privacy. My foster parents, and two foster sisters would watch me dress, undress, bathe and use the restroom, thinking that I would try to run away, or kill myself. I did not even understand what suicide meant then. I was not molested by them, but they did violate my body, by taking away all my privacy.

For the last 9 months I was on grounding. I was to come home put on my night gown, and sit on the hard wooden floor in front of my door, with my hands on my knees. I could not talk, or I would get beaten, I could not cry, sing or look away from the door, or I would get beat. I was not allowed to go to the bathroom with out permission, and most of the time they did not let me go to the bathroom, I always called to ask them, but they would ignore me, so I had alot of accidents, and was beaten.

My foster parents would tell my social worker that I was hitting myself, playing with myself, trying to kill myself, trying to hurt them and other stuff. All that got written down and put into my persol files. None of it was true.

They told my friend's parents, my teacher and my princapal that I lied, and what I suposedly to to myself. So when I tried telling them, they did not believe me, they just shook their head sadly. My social worker did not belive me, she did not even investigate. Instead she put in my files that I was a compulsive liar. When I was almost 13, my foster mother got mad at me, and beat me with a switch, naked for hours. I was bloody, and hurting really bad. A month later she got mad again and shoved me down, then called the police that I tried to kill myself, and they took me to Charter Hospital in Rooseville Ca, where I then told my story, showed them the bruises and scars. I had to fight for 3 months to not go back to that foster home, because they were going to send me back.

I will never forget what happend to me, I will never forgive myself for causing it to happen. I am still lost, not knowing what to do. I have gone through therapy, but I did not trust any of them.

I was raped 3 years ago, and he got me pregnant. He threatend to kill me if I told, and hit me a few times as a threat. I did not tell. Instead I met someone off the internet and told him I have to get away or this guy would keep hurting me. He was my grandparents friend as well as my fathers.

I moved to Austin Texas November 3rd, the day I turned 19, and did not come back for 8 months. When I came back I told my father and the police. To this day, Chirstian Burdine is free, and has had no charges against him. All because of what happend in the past, because I was considered a liar. I still hurt, and I am always agry. I would like someone to talk to that has been there. Please email me at: cowgirl_taken@yahoo.com

I am getting married in June, to a great man. He in in the army in Hawii. I want someone to talk to so I can feel better. I dont want anything to ruin my relationship with Keith. All I want is to be happy, have have my own children to love, and who will love me for who I am. Thank you for your time.

Joy


Hello, my name is Holly. I am married and this past summer was having troubles with my husband, so I left with my three kids and went to Idaho. We were in Wichita Falls Texas at this time. I stayed with my husbands family for the two months I was in Idaho. Well, one night my father-in-law was drinking and he told me that he wanted to rape me. I blew that off, because he was drunk.

The next morning, he approached me by putting his arms around me and telling me that he meant what he said the night before. I didn't believe him. Well, my father-and brother-in-laws where fixing my car, it wasn't running at the time, and when they were done, my father-in-law asked me to drive my car and test it out, he got in the front seat of the car. We went and test drove my car and then he told me to pull off the road, it didn't register to me until he started kissing me. I didn't want him to, but I was too scared to say anything because of the fact that I was all by myself and pretty much in the middle of an Indian Reservation. I told him that I don't feel good about doing that and that I didn't want to. I know that nothing could have been avoided.

Well, that wasn't the last time he approached me on the subject. Everytime he told me that he would rape me if I didn't go willingly. When I was 14 years old, I was raped by a 24 yr old. I vowed to myself that I would never let a man take a special thing away from me again. I was also doing it for my kids. I have 3.

I ended up leaving Idaho, back to Texas the end of August, 2000, and found out that I was pregnant. I hadn't told my husband at this point because I still felt like it was an affair. My husband wanted me to get an abortion, I was wanting to give the baby up for adoption. Well, my husband won that fight. I had an abortion.

My father-in-law and his family, except for my husband, are totally against me. They have told me that I seduced him. He told me at one point that he had wanted to try to get into my pants since I was 16 years old. That is when I married my husband. I have also realized that I was in a disassociation mode at the time that all of this was going on. I was working and when they were home, I would try to stay away as much as possible and my attitude changed.

I was afraid also for my children's safety. I keep getting told that I should have told somebody what he said to me. I was afraid. I know for a fact that nobody would have believed me because of the fact that they don't believe me now.

I know that I will never have to see this man again. It's sad that my husband won't be able to have a relationship with his father, but I also know that my husband wants to keep our children safe.

I am in counseling with my husband, and I go to support groups for rape vicitms. I'm glad that things turned out the way they have. I am a better person because of what has happened to me and I have also been able to cope with what happened to my at the age of 14.

Thank you for letting me share my story.

Holly Hiatt
im: hhiatt10


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