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Survivor Stories

I was 14 years old (earlier this year) when I met his great guy so I thought. I was home from school sick and I was on AOL when I got this instant message. He said hi and how are you and I thought hey this might be a friend that I forgot their screen name. When I told him I was sick he was like oh I hope you feel better and he was so sweet and kind. When I found out that I did not know him I was like well I have to so I can't talk to people I don't know. Than he was like please don't leave lets just talk for a little while than if you want you can say good bye at anytime and I will leave you alone. I never said good bye until 11:30 that night.

He made me trust him somehow, he even got me to give him my number. We talked everyday for about two weeks until I agreed to met him at the local mall. We went out for three months when he told me that he had lied to me. The first time I talked to him he had stated that he was 19- three weeks before my 15th birthday he told me he was not 19 but 24. I was so pissed at him but he had already had me in his web.

A week after he told me that he was 24 he talked me into has sex with him. I kept this from my mom. She was wondering why he was never calling and why he was never around and I told her that I don't know he kind of just stopped talking to me. She was really pissed when he did not come to my birthday party but I asked for her to get over it and she did for a while. When I went to stay with my brother and my soon to be sister in law for the bridal shower my mom went into my room looking for something I left and I really needed it when she came across this tin i had every love letter, email and instant messenger message and she read a small part of one that was up and he had written "are you sure your not pregnant?"

My mom called the cops and asked how could she have him checked out cause she had a bad feeling. The police said that she needed to lawyer to do that. The police officer did ask for a description of my "boyfriend". Within three minutes the cops were at my front door wanting to see a picture of my "boyfriend" they thought he was a sex offender.

My mom kept this from me until I got home that night. She told me what she did. I broke down crying and she said you have to talk to the cops. The cops that showed up at my door that night saved my life. They are still a huge part of my life I go to them every time I need to talk to someone. They have never found my "boyfriend" and now I am just trying to live my life without dying from pain.

im: JCChasez2oo3

hi my name is dede and i'm 16 years old. i was raped in august by a coworker who was taking me home. he asked me a lot of questions about sex on the way to my house. he stopped his car in the middle of my driveway and i asked himwhy and he didn't say anything. he unzipped his pants and revealed his penis to me. i tried to get out of the car but the door wouldn't open. he reached over and grabbed my right breast very hard and wouldn't let go. i asked him to stop and i was cryign and he wouldn't stop. i got the door open and i fell out of the car and skinned both my knees. he came out the same door and climbed ontop of me and ripped off my shirt and bra. then he did the same to my shorts and panties. he got ontop of me and held me down. he bit my neck and breasts. he penetrated me. i don't know for how long. when he was finished he got up and threw some newspapers that were inhis car at me and he put his car in reverse and backed down the driveway. he stopped and picked up my paper that was at the end of the driveway and left.

i had bruises allover my neck, breasts, pelvic area, and hips. I told my boss' what had happened. they were worried about getting sued. i told my dad who is a lawyer. the guy who did this to me was 16. he gets two years ina juvinile detention center and then he is out. he will do it again as far as i'm concerned. and i will be there watching him to make sure his life is a living hell and to keep him from doing it again. i have devoted a lot of my time to a center for women and children called AVALON.....i hope to god that something will come out of it...

im: anabradshaw

I recently recommended this website to a friend who asked how he could learn more about what had happened to me and how best to help me. I didn't know if he truly realized what some adults were capable of doing to children. I believe people who grow up without being harmed in this way, even those who are compassionate, wonderful people, usually have no concept of what atrocities children endure in this world. Although I do trust him, I didn't want to alienate him by telling him the details of what happened to me, for fear I would overwhelm him, or that he would think differently of me, and all the other worries I'm sure most of us share in relationships. After reading through some of these stories, he said he was better able to understand what I was going through. That the more he learned, the more he wanted to help me recover. Because of that, I decided to share my story. If even one person can relate, the pain of sharing will be well worth it. For those of you who are friends or partners of survivors, and who are reading these stories, thank you. Thank you for caring that much. Here is my story...

When I was around 7 or 8 (it is still hard for me to accept that I don't even remember exactly how old I was- it seems as though that would be something anyone would remember), my brother took me to the doctor's office for a check-up of some sort. It was the only time in my life I remember my mom not being able to take me herself- but that day she had to work. So my brother ended up taking me instead.

When the two of us went into his office, the doctor told my brother that he didn't really need to be in the room, and that he could just wait outside. I'm sure my brother thought that was somewhat strange, but he must have disregarded the uneasy feeling, because he left. As soon as the door was shut and locked I felt that something was wrong. The doctor didn't waste any time. He told me to take my clothes off. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't have any idea what was happening, or how to respond. I was so confused. So I took off my shirt, because I thought maybe that was what he meant. I remember folding it and putting it on the chair. As soon as I had done that, he said, "No, ALL of your clothes." It was at that point that my heart sank and I felt completely trapped. It didn't even cross my mind to fight a grown man, especially a doctor of all people. So I took off everything else, folded them, and put them on the chair, on top of my shirt. And I just stood there. I felt completely helpless. The only reason I mention folding my clothes is because it is one of the most vivid memories I have of the incident. Strange what the mind chooses to remember.

After that, he told me to get on the table, which I did. He immediately pinned me down and began prying my legs apart with his shoulder and his free hand. I remember him saying, in a low, disgusting voice, ďwiderĒ over and over again as I tried to resist and keep my legs together. The word makes me literally nauseous to this day. And then he raped me. There was a window next to the table, and I think I just floated right out of it. I donít remember anything after that- just looking out that window. Not hysterical, not even crying-- just staring blankly and lifelessly out of the window. I donít remember getting dressed again, or leaving. That day I was left completely empty.

I think this has affected me in so many of the same ways that I have read about here that I donít need to greatly elaborate on this point. I do have an absolutely paralyzing fear of authority figures, which as a recent college graduate, poses an interesting problem. I canít bring myself to go to interviews. That is not something you can explain to friends and family who donít know. And I canít bring myself to go see a doctor when Iím sick, which leads to its own array of problems. I also canít go see a counselor (I tried once, but I never made it past the waiting room), because the whole atmosphere makes me feel like I am suffocating. The smell, the offices, the layout, even the clipboards that you fill out information onóthose are my triggers. I almost wish it had happened anywhere else, anywhere else in the world, because the one place that could help me is the one place I cannot go, no matter how hard I try. It really is unbearable!

I am finally starting to reach out to other people, and that is how I am able to be writing this now. For those of you who have never told anyone, please, please, tell someone. It may seem impossible, as though the world will end if you share this (that feeling, I know all too well), but the world will keep on turning. I promise. Getting this out to someone brings a relief I cannot even describe. Sometimes you need to act on faith, and just take that step into the darkness. There is light on the other side. Donít shut yourself off to the world because you do have something to offer. I read once, ďIf you are not there to shine your light, who knows how many travelers will lose their way in the darkness?Ē You are not alone in this. Donít give up.


Tell your story.

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