I am 21 years old, I work as a Legal Secretary/Managers Assistant and I've been working here for 10 Months and really love it. I still live at home with my parents & my brother, although I'm planning to move out in aprox 1 year.
I was abused by my father (still live with him) from infancy (don't remember exactly when) and continued up until I was 15 years old. For years while it was happening I had nightmares that I was pregnant, although he never really raped me because luckily for me it never got quite that far.
DURING THE ABUSE:
He would come into my room at night and say he couldn't sleep, so he would stand at my window looking out, & masturbate. He would then come over to me & ask me to touch him, so I did (scared not to). During this I would constantly keep saying to myself "this is disgusting & dirty" so that I would endure it, I thought if I kept saying this in my head it would take my mind off him and take up more time. Then when he had finished with that he would ask me to lie down on my stomach while he rubbed my back, but I knew it wasn't just a back rub. He would start touching me on the bottom, and my chest when he asked me to roll over. It felt humiliating especially when I was just starting to develop a chest.
MY RECOVERY 4 YEARS LATER:
Four years later I was doing a Clerical Course at Tafe, when I decided to see a councilor (Kathy). I had no idea it would involve so much as I didn't originally go to see the councilor (Kathy) about the abuse. For the Six months that I saw Kathy we worked on being more assertive, overcoming shyness, & stop hating myself. One week before I stopped seeing her I mentioned the abuse & she suddenly pieced everything together and traced it back to the abuse. She referred me to Elizabeth, a Sexual Assault Councilor, who helped a great deal. I then worked through some of the issues raised from the abuse such as Depression, Suicidal thoughts, & extremely low self esteem. I began taking Antidepressants a few months later, began eating properly and started to realize how to change my negative thinking habits.
But during the healing process I tried to kill myself by cutting my wrist, but luckily I couldn't go through with it. I didn't need to go to hospital but I told Elizabeth (Councilor). She was very concerned and took me to the Mental Health Team at the hospital. I was so scared but I forced myself to go through with it. I was then told to double my Medication (Antidepressants) and began working upwards in the healing process very quickly.
TODAY:
I now feel fine about the abuse, although it still upsets me at times. My depression is under control and I feel much more assertive and confident in things I attempt to do. My goal is to leave home within one year so I can start a life of my own without my father (abuser). I hope through all the people who tell of their own experiences, people who have been abused will be able to either stop the abuse earlier or at least gain help & understanding while going through the healing process.
Elizabeth Anne
im = Elizabeth Anne
Well I don't feel very comfortable telling this. I've tried to forget about the "night".
My name is Christie. The day was March 5, 99 and my best friend was telling me about a party and she told me it would be fun she said a lot of teens were going. So I really wanted to go. Well I went home and told my parents that I wanted to go and my parents said NO. Well I didn't agree with them so When 9:00pm came I snack out I walked to the party because I'm 15.
So when I got there I seen my best friend. She was dancing and I walked up to her. She was really drunk and it had only been thirty minutes. So I told her she should sit down so we went into the living room a lot of people were making out and I sat her down then. She started to fall asleep.
So I was just sitting there and this cute guy kept looking at me. Well I didn't want to give the wrong message to him that I was available, because my boyfriend couldn't come. Well I guess I did give him the wrong idea. He walked over to me and introduced himself. He was really cute and he started to talk to me he told me he was 18 and he liked my strawberry blonde hair. So then he asked me could he talk to me in private. I didn't even know him. I said no and I woke my friend up and told her I was going to leave.
So then she said wait a few minutes 'cause her mom was coming to pick her up. But I was ready to leave so I did. Well he must have been following me and he drove up behind me he asked me do I need a ride and I told him no so he left. To get to my house there was a plaza so there was like an alley and I had to walk through it. So when I got in the middle of it, he walked up behind me and he knocked me out.
When I woke up I was in his car and I asked him what the hell is he doing and he just kept driving. I was so scared he took me to his house and he picked me up and I started hitting him but he was to strong. He took me to his room and threw me down on his bed I kicked him and he called me a female dog. Then he jumped on me and he held my hands down with one hand then the other he took his pants of he pulled my skirt up then he pulled my panties down. I screamed but he wouldn't stop he pushed in and out it hurt so much. Then when he was finish he knocked me out and he put me back in the alley.
Well it has been its been about 8 months and he is still out there. Teens listen to your parents don't grow up before your time please!
Christie
im = Christie
