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Survivor Stories

This happened to me two nights ago.

It is really hard to believe because the person was a friend of mine. A couple times we've have kissed and messed around, but I always told him, when things progressed NO SEX. He said okay and he understood that because he doesn't just have sex with people and my decision was fine.

Well on occasion he would spend the night over at my place to keep me company because I didn't like to be alone all of the time (my roommate moved out a few months back). Well two nights ago he stayed over to keep me company. We don't kiss or anything all the time, and he just came over, we talked for a little while, and then we went to bed.

I woke up around three in the morning because I felt some pressure in my lower area. I was laying on my stomach when I woke up and I reached behind me to feel that he was behind me and also inside of me. I pulled him out and quickly pulled up my pants and ran into the bathroom. I sat for a minute to try and remember if I was messing around with him or anything and I didn't. I remember walking back into my room and just looking around and I saw him putting his clothes and shoes on getting ready to walk back across the street to is apartment.

I went into my living room and just laid on the couch curled in a ball. I remember him trying to come over to my couch to say something to me. I didn't even look up I just told him to leave. He left and I quickly locked the door. I sat and cried and decided to call him to figure out what the hell was going on.

He told me that he didn't know that I was unconscious because he "was down there for a while" and that he thought that deep down he thought that it was what I wanted. I started crying and ended up hanging up on him. He called back and told me he was sorry and he didn't know that I wasn't awake. I started yelling then, and I asked him to repeat to me what I had told him a few times before. And he did, he said no sex. And I said then what the hell did he think he was doing then. I told him he violated me and he told me I didn't need to be screaming at him. I started yelling at him and told him that I don't just have sex with anyone, and especially not without a condom. He proceeded to tell me that I was out of line for screaming at him, by now I was trembling in tears coming to full realization of what had happened. He told me again that he thought deep down it was what I wanted and he didn't know that I didn't feel anything. I told him yes he did.

I cried and trembled wanting to call someone because I didn't want to be by myself. I was scared to call anyone because I didn't know what to say because I felt responsible for what had happened since I let this guy stay at my place. It was a miracle upon miracles what happened next. My phone rang a few minutes later and I answered the phone crying and just screamed what. The person on the other line was asking me what was wrong was I okay. I just cried and asked who I was talking to. He asked me what happened what was wrong (this was a guy I had been crushing on for a long time, but also he was a friend that I had met a year prior, and we would hang out) I had always felt that we had some sort of special connection, but never did I know how much so until that day.

So anyway, he asked me why was I crying what was wrong. Somehow I managed to tell him, and if it was anyone else that had called me I don't thing I would have been able to. He told me to come over, so I did and he didn't try to make me talk or tell him what happened or anything. He made me some tea and I just cried and cried and cried. He told me to relax and to let it all out. He rubbed my head and shoulders to try and calm me. He told me that if I wanted to talk he would listen but otherwise it was ok.

He started talking about how fucked up the situation was, about how bad things happen to such good people and he was sorry that this had to happen to me. Then he said that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Out of all my problems I have had and my hardships I am thinking how strong does God want me to be. After a while I stopped crying because I had to calm down. I have asthma and when I cry really hard I can't breathe. Finally we went to sleep and he held me and made me feel safe. I don't know what kind of shape I would be in right now if he wouldn't have called me that night.

It is weird too, because he is never up late at night and would never think of calling me a four in the morning on a night that I didn't work. I remember that I asked him what made him decide to call me at four in the morning, and he told me that he knew that I needed him. For this I call him my angel.

Thank you for listening to my story. If anyone would like to talk please email me.

God Bless,


My story is a difficult story to tell, but I hope you are helped.

On May 13th of 1999 I was brutally raped, 1 week before my 23rd birthday. I had gone to the bar and had a few drinks and somehow was slipped something. By 12:00 I began the blackout. I don't recall being in the bar after that until around closing time the owner asked if I was ok to get home. I said yes. So me and this guy apparently left.

I think we walked back to my apartment. I had difficulty getting the key in the door, then no memory. I remember being on the bed saying "that hurts, don't do that" twice then no memory. I came to again and said I had to go clean up (the first day of my period). Went to the bathroom and cleaned gobs of blood off me. Passed out in the bathtub after taking a shower. He apparently left.

I was awakened to the police pounding on my door. They (all 6) came in to "see if I was ok." One of the officers went into the bedroom and saw a pool of blood. Came out asked if I was ok. I said I feel woozy, but its probably just the first day. They said fine and left. A few minutes later they came back and said when the guy came to the station to make sure I was ok, he gave them my keyboard (piano). So they said we are returning it now. (?) I went to the bathtub again because of the heavy flow. Later I went to the couch.

The next am I went to the bathroom and that's when I saw all the blood. There was a huge pool of blood in the bed, streams of it on the carpet in the hallway, living room, and bedroom. I almost passed out when I saw it on the walls. I got the bleach out because I didn't want anyone to see it. Went to a clinic for the morning after pill because I didn't know what happened. She said you're fine.

After 14 days of bleeding I knew something was really wrong (I'm slow, I know). A week later (three weeks after the night) I went to the police station to file a rape charge and get an exam. I told the officer I had no idea what happened and wanted to file a report for a rape charge. He said no you weren't raped. You are just claiming rape because you feel guilty about having sex.

I left scared and angry. I went straight to the hospital then and the doctor said there was definite trauma, but he couldn't do a rape kit due to the time frame. 2 weeks later I saw my ob-gyn who said there were 2 severe lacerations. I most likely was raped. Then over the next 1 1/2 months I kept having what I thought were herpes outbreaks. The doctor said no they are stress outbreaks. I was relieved and scared again.

Then on I think it was 9-27-99 I confronted the rapist. He then "found" me on 10-16-99 and made himself known. On Monday,10-18-99, I made the police file a charge and today 10-21-99 the detective called me back and said there of course is nothing to prosecute for, we're sorry. My only response is with no name I can't file a ppo or anything, I am basically fucked against him. I have no protection and he knows where I live and work. He can kill me or worse at anytime. Now the anger issue arises. I want to kill the fucker! Thank you for listening.


im: katlo10460

It was the night of March 13.

I went out with a bunch of friends and we all were drinking. The night started about 6pm and ended about 3am, from what I can remember. At the second bar we went to, I met up with an old "friend" from high school. We started talking and decided to go back to my apartment. One of his friends took us since neither one of us had a car and we were both drinking.

We went inside and were talking and then we started kissing and just messing around. He took my some of my clothes off in the kitchen. We went to my room and I changed and we continued just kissing and stuff. He asked if he could help himself to a drink. I said he could and he came back to my room with a drink and asked me if I wanted some. I declined but ended up taking the cup and drinking from it.

He wanted to have sex but I said no. He kept pushing the issue and ended up raping me. I do not remember everything from that night, but I do remember explicitly telling him NO! That is the last thing I remember. I woke up in the morning and he was gone. I was black and blue all over my chest which last for 2 weeks. I was also very sore and bleeding vaginally.

As the day went on, I started remembering things little by little. When I went to work the next day, I told one of the doctors that I worked for what had happened. He counseled me and encouraged me to report the incident. I did and went to the hospital for examination. They did a rape kit and I spoke with a police officer.

Now, over 7 months later, I still have not heard anything. I have been in contact with the officer and he said sometime by November I should hear what the lab came up with. The officer also took my bed sheets and cup that he drank out of for lab analysis. It has been a very long road and this is only the beginning. I was skeptical about reporting it and am very scared about the outcome, but I know that this guy deserves everything that is coming to him and more. Of course he denies everything and I absolutely hate him for everything that he has put me through, physically and mentally.

I have decided that even if he does not get convicted of this awful crime, at least I spoke out and hopefully can help someone else from going through the same thing.

Tanya S. Evangelista

im: amretsour

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