I was always popular in highschool. When I was a feshman all my friends were seniors. When I became a senior myself I still hung out with my friends that had graduated the years earlier. I had a 2 month old son, who was a gift from junior prom. The father wasn't a part of my life nor my baby's.
Alot of my friends were gathering to have a huge party that weekend. SO I got a babysitter and decided to go. I had been asked not to go by the man I was planning to be with. I didn't listen, there was nothing to worry about, these people were my friends. Looking back now I wish I would have taken his warning. There were going to be these gang bangers there that we went to school with but it was okay because I was friends with most of them.
I arrived at this party with my friend "Jen" A few minutes after I was there, my baby's dad walked in with a friend of ours. That was the first problem. My friends couldn't believe he showed up after not being there for his child. Not long after he arrived he was jumped and got the crap beat out of him. The guy he had come with (who was my friend) was in the middle and got it also. I felt horrible and just wanted to get drink and forgot it ever happened for the moment anyway.
About five drinking games and several shots of Jack and Tequila later, I could barly walk, I wasn't sure were I was. That didn't stop me from having a couple of more beers. I stared getting dizzy and light headed and going through mild black outs. Then I relized I didn't see Jen. I called for her and she never came. I started to become frantic and crying. Then a guy from the gang that I knew and was friends with told me he saw her upstairs. He helped me up and helped me up the stairs, basically carring me. We got to this dark room. Then I blacked out. I am not sure how I got to the bed or how my pants got off, but I woke up with him on top of me. I couldn't find the strengh to push him off. I started to cry and he told me to let it happen because I couldn't stop it. Then he raped him.
It was only a few minutes but felt like eternity. I cryed and screamed and told him to stop that he was hurting me. It seemed the more I pleaded, the more it hurt. I kept asking for Jen, and he would just keep telling me she left me there. He tore my shirt and then he pulled out. Not 10 seconds later, the door flew open. It was Jen. She started yelling and shouting at him to get off of me. Then he punched me in the face and told Jen I was a DIRTY WHORE, then he left. Jen helped me with my clothes and helped me get up. Then she and another friend got me to my car and layed me in the backseat. Jen drove us home.
Jen and I didn't talk about it for 4 or 5 days, when she would bring it up or ask, I'd ignore the subject or cry. I had a bad bruise on the side of my face that I had to hide from the world. When Jen and I did talk about it, she told me I had to go to the Police. I was scared. I believed it was my fault. I believed I had gotten what I had dezerved for the prblem and fight earlier that night at the party. I believed I was dirty and just some tramp who got what she dezerved. I couldn't go to the police. This guy was involved in gangs and we were friends so I knew the trouble he caused and the things he did. I was scared if I told, I would have the whole gang after me. Some students at school found out that I had sex with this guy and called me a slut and much more.
I going to be 21 in a few months and my son is now 3 years of age. I have never told my parents, and the only one who truely knows is Jen. Although I have moved on and have gained my life back. I sometimes still go to sleep and have that horrifing night run through my head in slow motion. I often wonder what happened to that guy. Last I heard he had moved. I wonder what he is doing and who he is hurting now. I wonder who is suffering because of my lack of courage. So if you are one with a story who is scared to tell. Make a difference, save someone else from the same pain.
Name Withheld
I really dont know where to start, It is all very hard and scary for me.I remember it started with tickling.When I was a little girl my father used to tickle my batas (my feet) all the time.I would be watching TV with my older sisters (I was the baby)He used to come over and hold my feet , and tickle me.He used to do it to the point where tears would be coming out.
Anyhow I guess from that point on I really liked it and thought of it as a sign of love.
My husband, he was just here tickling my feet.
when i turned 15 I was at a party, and there was this guy i liked , we went into another room to talk and he started tickling me. He started at my feet, and then my ribs , then my breasts.I was like hey hold on. your going too far, but i was hysterical with laughter.
He then stripped me and vaginally raped me.I fought back ever step of the way , but he was much stronger than me.
I cried and cried and cried, my innocence was stolen, i could never get it back.
I called my friend to pick me up and didnt say a thing. I remained silent.
I woke up to a bad dream of it the same night and woke everyone in the house, my mom came in and asked me if anyone touched me. I then told her everything.
I was taken to the hospital to be checked out, thank god i was ok.
But that was more than 10 years and it still hurts.
I have since married and have a beautiful daughter. But i still have not told this wonderful man.I havent the courage as of yet. Sometimes when he gets too close i freak out a little, but i can never tell him why.
Thanks for listening
Denise
Hello everyone it goes without saying that i never thought i would end up typing out my story for people to view over the net , but here goes. A Year and one month ago i was raped by a man that i had met just months previously. He was a handsome, athletic, gentlemanlyperson with morals and ethics or so i thought. He had asked me out several times but i told him no then his persistance finally prevailed. Im a nurse and am going back to school to finish up my nursing degree so dating was really not on my quota, im a very busy person with work and school. But i did go out with this man , and i had a lovely time.
The second date went well also up til i mentioned that i needed to go home i was a little worn out from my week and wanted to get some sleep. For some reason this angered him, the thought that i wanted to sleep rather than stay there with him. I told him nothing personal i was just really exausted from the week of school and work. he had picked me up and we went to his home to watch a movie and he had cooked a meal for us , so i asked him to bring me home and he pushed himself clser to me on the sofa and said "i think you really want to stay here tonight dont you?" The thought of his presumption angered me so i told him no that i wanted him to bring me home please.
That's when it got ugly. He pushed me up next to the arm of the chair and put all put his forearm in my throatand grabbed my hands with his other free hand. I was shocked and scared what was he doing to me? Was he going to rape me went thru my mind or beat me i really didnt even know this man that well obvious and why was i over at his house on the second date was i stupid? All these things were going theu my mind he tried to kiss me and i pulled away my face from him he slapped me and i was crying so bad by this point he moved his arm and i begged him not to rape me or hurt me . He is a very large man , and im fairly petite. He outweighed me probably by at least 100 lbs. And was about 10- 11 inches taller than me. I will not go thru the act of the rape with you verbally but i will say that even now the thought of sex sickens me, and trust will always be an issue with me as far as men go.
I know not all men are monsters but i just find it incapable to trust men at this point in my life. Maybe one day my prince charming will show up , but as to yet he has not came. I hope anyone reading this will learn from my mistakes of trusting a man enought to go to his home in such a short time of knowing him. There are true dangers out there for men and women alike , you never know what is going through someones head. Please take care of yourself and others. Pray for spiritual help and confide in others. Have faith inb yourself also. God Bless all reading this, and i pray for your aid in your healing as well as my own.
Angela
