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Survivor Stories

My story is quite painful to tell because I have to see this person alot and I am having a hard time getting over it. The person who raped me was my boyfriends brother:

It was a Sunday in July of 2000 and I had just come back from church, my mother had just dropped me off at my boyfriends house. It was passed noon and he was sleeping. His brother answered the door and let me in. My boyfriend and I had a child who was one and a half, so I went to the livingroom to get her to sleep. I laid down flipped on the t.v and put my daughter to sleep (laying on me). Then my boyfriends brother (I'll call him "N") came into the room. He was just wearing boxers and for some reason instead of sitting on the other couch he sat beside my feet at the end of the couch (space invader). He was on the phone but he kept bugging my daughter trying to wake her up. She was stirring and I kicked him (not hard)on his leg to get him to stop. Then he told the person on the phone (I think it was his girlfriend!) he'd call them back.

My daughter was awake at this point, and I was yelling at "N" to go away. Then he grabbed a flashlight from the top of the entertainment center and shoved it into my crotch (I was still laying down with my daughter on me) I was wearing panties and it didn't go in me but it still hurt. I jumped and my daughter almost fell onto the ground. Then out of nowhere he dropped the flashlight and shoved his fingers inside me. I jumped up and my daughter slid to the ground, then "N" grabbed me and layed on top of me. He was so strong and I couldn't even move, except to move my face away from his mouth trying to kiss me. He went in me and was grabbing violently at my breasts, I thought I didn't have a voice because I couldn't speak. Finally after about 30 seconds(which seemed like forever) I screamed my boyfriends name. "N" quickly got off of me, I quickly started to run but he grabbed me around the waist pleading "please don't tell" over and over. I got away from him went upstairs and called my friend. She told me to wake up my boyfriend and tell him, I knew that if I told him he would kill "N" literally and I couldn't let him do that. So I went to his bed and cuddled up to him and cryed quietly.

I did tell him later that day, he did want to kill "N" but his friends helped to calm him down. Their mother was in Jamaica when this happened and I didn't call the police. Looking back I wish I would have told the authorities because I heard later I was not the first person he had done that too. I also found out later that he had given me Chlamydia. Now I have to see him at family events and he sexually harasses me alot.

I didn't want to go to the police because of the embarassment, I thought I would have no evidence and it would be his word against mine. Now I've got so much information on rape and aquaintance rape that I've let go of some of the guilt but it still haunts me to this day.

Joanna B


I was 14 when it happened to me. I used to babysit for a couple that were friends with my mom. The man was 27 and very goodlooking and knew it. He would give me compliments when his wife was'nt in the room. At 14, I'd blush and feel flattered at an older man's attention. One night I was babysitting and they came home late. His wife was pretty drunk so he said that he would drive me home. He took the round-a-bout way into town. He said he did'nt want to get a DUI. On the way he pulled off onto a dirt road. He started telling me how pretty I was and how I seemed older than 14. Then he started kissing me. I did'nt know what to do, I just sat there and let him. I thought that would be it and I could go home. It was'nt he just kept touching me and saying that if I wanted to be an adult that this is what adults do. I started crying and shaking my head no. He raped me in the front seat of his car. I know I said "NO", but I don't know if it was just in my mind or out loud. I was crying and kept my head turned away from him the whole time. I wanted to throw up. When he was done he said I wanted it as much as him and what a good time he had. I just sat as far away as possible and said nothing. He dropped me off at home. Nobody was awake when I went inside my house. I went to the bathroom and washed up. It took me almost three years to tell my mom. She did'nt say much just that it was too late to do anything and to forget about it. I'm 31 now and I still have nightmares. I still have self esteem issues and don't trust many people or have many close friends. I have 4 children and am very protective of them. I pray to God that they never have to go though what I did. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

Faye


My name is Meg. I'm 17 now, a lot younger than a lot of the other victims, but I too was raped. Although my story might not be as dramatic as some of the other stories, it was extremely traumatic. I was 13 at the time. My boyfriend at the time and I had just gotten back from the movies for my birthday, I think. We were sitting in my room watching TV. He kissed me, and I didn't think anything of it. I mean, he kissed me a lot. Then he told me that he wanted me to go down on him. I told him I didn't want to, but he made me anyway. I don't know how long that went on. Then he climbed on top of me. He then raped me. It hurt so bad. Although he never actually penetrated me, he tried his hardest. I repeatedly told him "No." "I don't want to do this." He didn't listen. After what felt like what was an eternity, he stopped. I guess he figured he wasn't getting anywhere.

I never told anyone what happened that night. I don't know why I didn't break up with him, but I didn't. He continued to make me perform oral sex on him almost daily. This went on for months. I didn't tell anyone, I was so ashamed. Then he moved. Thank God. The day he moved was the happiest day of my life. I never talked about it. Then during the summer before my sophomore year in highschool, I finally told someone. He came back to visit, and my mother forced me to see him, even though I repeated told her I didn't want to. My boyfriend (Mike) at the time noticed something was up. He made me tell him. At the time, I hated him for it. I didn't want to admit it, but after I did, I love him for it. Even though Mike and I haven't been together for almost a year, he still remains one of my closest friends, and always will. I've dealt with this for going on 4 years. I don't think I will ever fully recover, but I am not going to let this ruin my life. Oh...and on top of it all, he bragged about it. I found out from Mike that he had bragged about it. Mike was talking to this kid about fights they've gotten into. This kid started saying how he beat the crap outta this kid for bragging he raped a girl. It turned out to be the guy who raped me. But I'll survive. I just want other girls who are in the same situation to know that its not their fault. And that they should tell someone. I am mad that I didn't tell someone because now he's free to do it again to another girl. But anyway, this site has helped a lot. Thank you.

Meg


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