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Survivor Stories

I was raped on September 30, 2000 at 17 years of age, by someone that I knew and trusted. He worked with someone that I consider my brother. This man and I got to be friends and he let me take his car, did all kinds of stuff for me, things that I never thought would have put me through the sheer hell that I have gone through in the last sixteen months.

Nothing was going on between this man and I we were just friends, and you know the typical High school garbage that presents itself, it was my senior year and I was one that liked to go out with my friends. One night one of my girlfriends and I went to a party that my "brother" was throwing. Everything seemed fine, I really didn't drink all that much, maybe one or two beers and then there was another friend of mine that I was going to stay in her tent. Not any big deal. As the party died down, we decided to go to the tent and sleep, as it was very late, this so-called friend of mine was in there too, just talking. I fell asleep and woke up to him touching me. When I quietly asked him to stop, afraid to wake the rest of the people, he didn't. This guy was a fairly large person, and really all I knew about him was his frist name, as I will soon realize. This guy is the master of disguise, he has to be, it was later brought to my attention that he is a known drug dealer. The next morning I told no one. Not a single person. I did not want to realize what had happened. That is when everything went down hill.

For months I went on being the normal soon to be 18 year old, with a few changes. I was seriously losing weight, I stopped eating regularly, and was always sleeping. Going to school with the people that I loved to see and talk to every day became impossible. I had never skipped a day of school in my high school career, and now I could not get out of bed in the mornings. Although I never felt sick or unusual, other than the feel of being assaulted, I denied to myself and everyone around me that I was pregnant.

Not that I showed, because I wore the same exact jeans all the way until I was taken to the hospital, and they fit looser than ever.

When the night came that I was taken to the hospital, I was scared out of my mind. Seeing as how I denied to myself the entire situation, I was NOT in the least prepared. I didn't know if I should or would keep this baby. Could I do this?? How am I going to ba able to look at this innocent little thing everyday and see this man that I hate with all of my heart??? At the moment that the doctor told me that I had a beautiful little girl, I knew deep down that this baby is mine, all mine. My daughter is now 6 1/2 months old and everyday I love her more and more.

It is difficult knowing that my daughter will not know her biological father, but that is my decision, I want him no where near MY child.

I have thought countless times about going to the Police, but first of all, I never want to see this man again. And second, I have no idea where to find him. Nor do I want to.

My daughter and I are doing just fine on our own, and I have all of the support from friends and family despite the hardest times of my life, I am doing GREAT!!!

Ashley


When I was 5 my mom moved in with her boyfriend of 2 years. Well we found a house rather, because my mom was pregnant with my little sister. My mom would go to work in the morning after her boyfriend had come home. She never got home until about 5 which is normal for someone that is working. I always had to stay home with him. I don't remember exactly when it started but he would call me into his room around 11 and ask me to make him some coffee, it was the same thing every day. After I would bring him his coffee he would tell me to sit down. I would sit down and he would start to take my clothes off. I struggled with me the first few times but after awhile I stopped struggling because he would hurt me when I did. Then he would touch me, all over my body, and he would make me do things to him. Sometimes he hurt me when he was touching me and soemtimes he didn't, but when he was done he'd always tell me to go to my room, he'd tell me that I was a very naughty girl and if I told anyone about it they would take me away from my mom. For a 5 year old being separated from your mom is a very scary thing to imagine, so I kept my mouth shut. And I've never told anyone to this day. My mom ended their relationship about a year after my sister was born and I've tried to put this to the back of my mind, which worked up until I started dating. Now every time me and one of my boyfriends fool around I somehow manage to think of everything he did to me, and it scares me, I can't get close to my boyfriends because of what this man did to me, and it annoys me. After all these years, (it's been eleven) it still comes back to me and I can't get over his malesting me. That's not even the worst of it. I wish I would have told someone about it while it was happening, I so sorry that I didn't, because what if he does it to my sister? I'm so scared that someday my sister will come home and say that her daddy touches her down there. But I'm too scared to tell anyone about it. I just hope that I'll be able to before it's too late.

Sam


I was almost raped in october 2001 a week before my 17th birthday. To this day I still think it was my falut. I was at friends house and her parent were gone so we had people over(guyz) and my boyfriend was one of them well he went home at like 11:00 and I sat on the couch talking to this guy and then I got up to go to the bathroom and he follwed me but I didnt think anything about it. Well When I got out of the bathroom he bed room door was shut and he had pushed me on the bed and started kissing me. I was like no I have a boyfriend then hes all u think I care. Then the door opened and 3 of his friend helped him. Held my arms and legs down the other one watched the door. Then everyone of them walked out but one he still wouldnt stop and I asked if I could get out of the room he said when I'm done with you. But then he let me up. The next day at school everyone was asking me how I liked the sex with this guy and I told only one of my friend the truth and some how the school heard about this and called the police and my parents they took pictures of the bursies and marks. But he got away with it saying I was lying about it. So at school now when ever I pass him in the hall he still smiles at me and says well have to do it again! I'm just thankful that my bestfriend has stood by me this whole time and always says its not my falut.OH ya my boyfriend broke up with me 4 months after this b/cuz of the rumors!!!

Angel


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