i was raped from the age of 4 to the age of 15 by my cousin every night he would treaten me that if i ever told anyone he would kill me and my family i am now 16 i have told my parents at first i thought it was a game then i got older and i learned that it wasnt a game and when he tried i would tell him that i was going to tell and he would repeat it over and over while he was raping me that he was going to kill me and my family if i ever told anyone he even use to do it when my parents was home i remeber one night i was taking a bath and he need to use the bathroom so i got out covered my self and went to the door and as i was walking out the door he pulled me back in and raped me again my dad was in our kitchen fixing dinner well one night i told my friend carrie who forced me to tell my mom who forced me to tell my dad and my dad talk to my aunt about it but she didnt believe us and told my dad it was just little girls talk but my mom did believe us but nothing has happend to him we just sort of keep it a family secert
I'm now 31 years old, married with 3 children. I was molested growing up by my uncle and then raped when I was 15 years old by 3 men that I knew. One of the boys I knew was really violent with me. He threw me down on the ground and threatened me. I remember being so afraid and my legs shaking uncontrollably. I never told anyone for fear that I would be blamed and for fear that my older brother would kill him and end up in jail because of it. Not telling made things worse because he went on to rape many other girls and was never punished for it. When I heard taht other girls were raped I really felt like it was my fault for not reporting it so that at least he would have a record of it for other victims. It took me a long time to get over what happened but believe it or not; you do get over it. Today 16 years later I can talk about it to anyone and not cry but I admit I almost cried hearing the stories on Montel show. I have to be strong so that I can carry on and you have to do the same and if you have children male or female; make sure you talk to them about being safe and reporting these kinds of things. Group therapy is what helped me the most. Being in a group and not feeling like I was the only one anymore was a great help! Stay strong and God Bless you!
I really donít know where to start. Ok I'll start from my first unwanted sexual encounters. When I was 9 yrs old, my motherís then boyfriend molested me. I went through self loathing, feeling dirty and ashamed. I never had any help, so I told some friends and they told a teacher. Then the cops got involved and he was arrested. It seemed my mother hated me after I did this and I really didnít understand it. I made my first decision on my own. It was either have my mom continue hating me, or try to bring her boyfriend back to her, he later became my stepfather. I was only nine; I needed my mother's love and craved it. When I went to trial I lied and said I made the whole thing up.
I thought all my problems were solved, but I was traumatized inside and slowly breaking down. All this started to show in my temper and in my perception of myself.
In school I was terrified of men and with my male classmates I let them do what ever they wanted to me. Boys sexually harassed me all the time and I just didnít care. I felt I was put on this earth for them to do that to me. I had a low self-esteem; I had gained a lot of weight in hopes that guys would just back off. It didnít work they still bothered me.
When I was 14 I finally decided to tell my mother I had lied for her to be happy. I felt I made a selfless sacrifice. I traded my happiness for hers. She didnít see it that way, she just didnít believe me. She never told me but I can see it in her eyes and her actions. She still doesnít believe me to this day.
Years passed by and I eventually overcame it, I learned to love myself. I never got counseled because I was the type of person that liked to do for myself and I succeeded. I went all through high school with out boyfriends and managed to stay pure. Over time I had forgiven my stepfather for what he did. I realized what he did to me made me who I am; I took my wounds and let them heal. There is still scarring but I have pretty much moved passed.
I graduated High School and went on to college. It wasnít the best experience of my life. On April 30 2001, a guy who would flirt with me raped me and I took it innocently, it was big mistake on my part. All I can remember is freezing up and thinking, "he's raping me." I blamed myself; I thought that could never happen to me because I had been through too much.
The thing that hurts the most is I was a virgin and I wanted to save my virginity for the man I love. After it happened he hugged me and walked out. I was so shaken up and scared I had actually asked him to stay cause I didnít want my first time to be so cold. I really donít know what I was thinking but I wasn't me.
I never did press charges, even though people wanted me to, I refused to do it. I was so sure I would have lost the case and that would have been devastating. I did what I do best, I ran away. I called my parents and they picked me up and took me home. I am healing slowly but surely. Every now and then I get flash backs of what he did to me. I keep thinking I could have done something different, I could have fought harder. It happened and now Iím left to deal with it, I am dealing and healing. The thing that saddens me most is I can never forget it even if I tried because every time I think of my very first time I'm going to remember that horrible night.
I hope eventually I will remember my first time that I hold dear in my heart, that is the first time I made love to the man I love. I thank God that I have him in my life, having him in my life gave me the strength to go on and not give up. I thank God everyday for him. I hope that whoever reads this fines strength to go on and be strong. Now that I look back I consider myself a survivor. Thatís my story; I hope it is inspirational to you. I want you to see there is hope after itís all done. You build yourself up with the things that are made to knock you down and make you give up. Donít give your attacker the satisfaction. Take charge of your life and be strong, I promise you it gets better