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Survivor Stories

I was scared and hurt when I realized that I was raped. I was 13 and I was at a party with my best guy friend. I didn't know any of the people that were at the party. They were all friends of the guy I went with. It was a drinking party and since I didn't have any of my girlfriends there to help me if something went wrong I didn't drink much. I only had a few drinks of punch and a sip of beer. I remember taking a drink of a beer that my friend had. After that I got all crazy and hyper I was 1 of only 10 girls at the party. I got all crazy and could remember parts of the night but not every second.

I remember taking more and more drinks and I got drunk and iw as crazy hyper doing anything the guys asked me to do. I was asked to take my Shirt of and i did. My friend then told me that he wanted tot take me away from the party to talk. So i went with him to his brothers car. We sat in the car and he talked about how he liked me and then he made his move he kissed me and went down my pants. After that i only remember parts but I can remember him on top of my and I could remember feeling that hard pit in my stomach.

I then passed out and woke up the next morning in the car with my friend next to me. I asked him what had happened and he himself was drunk that night. Since he was my "best guy friend" we talked about what we remembered. We finally came up with the story together that was druged with X. Aka ecstasy. He remembered having sex with me and then after that he remebered seeing me pass out so he put a blanket over me and went to sleep. I didn't think much of it. I mean he was my friend. So I put it away and we stayed friends till he moved. A week after he moved i found out I was Pregnant. And he was the only guy I had ever had sex with. I told my parents and I had the baby we never pressed charges because we didn't know where he was. I had my child one year ago I am now 14 with a 11 mo. old child. I am being home schooled. I never thought that this would happen to me but it did. i thanks god everyda! y for my baby girl. But i regret ever trusting him. I am not mad at him I am more mad at myself for letting it happen.

I love web sites like this because it lets people tell there story and let them get it out! I love my daughter so much but always think that of the life I could have had. I still cant believe I am 14 with a daughter. It still surprises me. thanks so much for reading my story it might just help soem one else tell there story! :)

im: electrababe9999

I'm not sure where to start.... I can't remember exactly how old I actually was when my mother's live in boyfriend started molesting me.About 11 or 12.

It started out with him giving me things-like money-and saying I "owed" him.Then one day he decided it was time to "collect".At first he said I "owed" him a kiss.He had me pinned against the wall and leaned over and shoved his tounge in my mouth.I just stood there.I didn't know what to do.After he kissed me,he said he had given me a lot over the years (he had been living with us since I was 7 or 8),and that a kiss was just the beginning of his "payment".He led me over to the living room couch and forced me to sit down.He used his leg to pin down one of my legs,and his knee to stop me from being able to close my legs.One of his arms was across my chest.Then he started touching me..."down there".When he was done,he told me to go take a shower because my mother would be home soon (she had gone shopping with my grandmother-and my two brothers and sister were playing outside during this).A couple of days later,things happened again.Soon it was happening daily,and escalating.It we! nt from him touching me to him making me touch him to him forcing oral sex on me to him making get the idea.

The worst part is my mother found out what was going on soon after the first time things happened,and she didn't stop it.She said I "deserved it" because I "led him on".She even watched him violate me sometimes...and then they would go into their bedroom and have sex. When I was 16 I tried to kill myself.I took every type of pill I could find in the house,drank a bottle of rubbing alchohol,and a bunch of other stuff.It was in the middle of the night and I locked myself in the bathroom while doing this.Then I came out to go to bed and die...but HE was standing in the hall.He led me to the living room and started doing thing to me...then I went to bed.By then my heart felt like it was going to explode because it was pounding so hard and fast,and everything was spinning.I started throwing up all over myself.My sister woke up (we shared a room),and ran to get our mother.HE and my mother came in the room and just looked at me.They wouldn't take me to the hospital.They stood over me and agreed if I died they would all say I was found like that in the morning.They threatened my siblings,saying they would regret it if anything was ever said. I survived.

Another year past with things still getting worse.I was now 17.I ran away (to my aunts house).

I told my aunt everything that had happened,and she said she already knew...but didn't want to "get involved" because "it wasn't any of her business".I ended up leaving there and living on the streets for awhile.Then I went to stay with a friend's family.The "friend" was a guy who had spent quiet awhile gainning my trust...and in an instant it was gone.He raped me.I ran away again.

I went to another state.

I thought I deserved everything that had happened,and I was ashamed.I didn't want to feel "different" from others,and it seemed like everyone else was having "normal" sex,so,for the first time ,I consented to sex with a guy I had met.I got pregnant.He decided to do the "right" thing and marry me.I was almost 19 then.A few years later I had another baby (by the same father).We ended up divorcing because I would get hysterical during sex,and he just started finding it other places.I never told him about my past,and he was killed a few months after our divorce was finalized.That was 3 years ago.

I am now 25,and I recently remarried.My new husband knows a lot about my past...but not all of it.He is extremely patient with me,and let's things go at my pace. I often feel guilty for putting him through "my world".

I have never had professional counseling.Some days-the "bad" days-I think I need it,but then my husband tells me I am doing fine without it.He tells me to think about how far I've come.I guess he's right....isn't he?

Name Withheld

well i was first raped when i was four years old, and when my dad caught me and this seven year old that was my freind, he thought i was volenteering so he beat me. my mom called the police on him and he had to do therapy. since then i have always been scared of intamacy. recently i had the best boyfriend in the world, he was everything i wanted, i guess he was too good, i was with my 'friend'(19yrs old)and i am 15. and he started kissing me, and i am still mad at myself to this day but i kissed him back. then he stuck his hand in my pants i pushed him away when i felt him go inside but he wouldnt let me, he put about four fingers in and i am a virgin so i started crying but he didnt care he was still kissing me. so i gave up and let him have his way with me, when i heard his shoes drop on the floor, i freaked out and finally got out of his grip, then he picked me up by my shirt and pinned me against the wall, and fell backwards with me. i finally got away i! t is still a blur. i was scared and confused so i told my boyfriend right after that i had kissed someone and he went balistic and hung up on me. he didnt talk to me for about four months, that made me even more depressed, when i let him know that it was sorta against my will he started talking to me again and now we are good friends. i still love him as a bf but i dont think he feels the same. i will regret and hate myself for that forever

im: allie94520

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