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Survivor Stories

Im really glad i can write this down and tell someone. All my childhood i can remember being depressed. When i turned 7 my mother met jim. He was great in the beginning buying us stuff. We didn't have any money cause my mom was a single parent raising 2 kids alone. He turned out to be a crackhead and a alcoholic who verbally abused my mother and i. He sexually abused me. The sexually abuse was not as bad as the verbal abuse he made me doubt myself and feel uncomforable he made me feel like i was nothing. My mother finally left him and got back together with my brothers father. I though that it was over.

When we moved to a new city from a small town i felt overwhelmed and alone. I tried to committ suicide and went to a mental hospital twice i was on medication then 2 years later i felt like i was getting some where i started feeling better.then one night when my brother's father was drunk he touched me , i was over then one night i came home drunk and at the time i was on prozac so everthingi drank intesified he told me to sit on his lap and i did not knowing what would happen i shouldn't have but i did so he started kissing me and he asked if i liked it i said it was wrong and he said yeah but do you like it and i said no i said no i said no thats jusy what i have to keep reminding myself so he dragged me to my room and i remember what happen but i felt unconcience like i couldn't move i was scarred and drunk and i felt like it would have been worse if i tried harder to stop him im so confused i don't know if i was wrong to but he dropped me on my bed and rubbed me and sucked on me and flipped me over and lifted mt legs up and had sex with me then smacked my ass and left me there naked

i went crazy the next day i just wanted to get fucked up i told my doctor because he didn't use a condom and then she told my mom and my mom seemed mad and then she talked to him and he said that we just kissed and he cried and he didn't want to lose his family and then he said that he was the one that said it was wrong he lied and my mom believed him my mom says sh thinks i was really drunk but i know what happened sometimes i doubt myself and i need help i need you guys please give me support i still live with him and i ave to look at him ever day and mt own mother doesn't believe me and she is all i have i don't have a father i have no where to go

Helena


I remember it began when i was 10 yrs old, My had just got married to a guy shed been with for many years because he had been with my mum since i was 5 years old i trusted him. My step dad went out to drink at the pub a lot and one day he took me with him. After he had spent many hours downing numerous bottles of beer he drove me to a sucluded lake.

He began touching me but i just froze, and i didnt dare scream because there was no one to hear me any way. It was late when we got home but the next day i didnt dare tell my mother, he would have hurt me if i told. That was the first time he touched me, at least then he wasn't having sex with me.Then it got worse, he began having sex with me about a year later. He never left me alone, it happened so much and i hated him so much for it. When i was 15 he got me pregnant and every one treated me like I was a little tramp, i was so alone.

I wanted an abortion but my step dad screamed at me and made me keep the baby. Now im glad i did but when ever i look at her i see a peice of him and im still afraid. im a 16 year old mother now, my mother found out her husband was molestering me and she left him with out even saying a word. I never told my family what he did to me because i believed if i denied it enough i wouldnt have to think about it and it would just go away but it didnt.

So dont make my mistake, tell some one.

Princess


I was so stupid. I thought he really liked me. He was the first serious boyfriend i had.

Sam came to our house with my sister's boyfriend one day, he was a buddy of his. We talked for awhile and he asked me out. I never knew he had such cruel intentions.

Okay, i guess i better give some background info before i go on. I had a very close friend named Zack. He was my best friend. Unfortunatly, Zack had a jealous girlfriend named Tiffiny, who told him she didnt want him seeing me, and called and me told me to stay away from him...she snagged my number from his Caller ID. She even had people following us to make sure we werent seeing each other. He got sick of it and dumped her. He took me out to a comedy club one night...he was always trying to get me out of my house even if all we did was walk around and talk because my family treats me pretty bad, and it depresses me to spend much time at the house. So we went out, had a great time, walked and talked for awhile after the show..It was 230 am by the time i got home. i barely had my shoes off when my phone rang. It was, guess who...Tiffiny. She wanted to know if i had seen Zach. I was scared, figured if she knew when i got home she probably knew who I was with, so i swal! lowed the lump in my throat and told her yes, i had. She wanted me to call him and tell him she needed cough medicine. She couldn't call him herself because he blocked her number. She was so pathetic...she still lived with her mom,on the other side of town from him, and he had no car. What was he going to do,hop a bus at 300 am to bring her some while her mommy slept? Zach called me to let me know he got home okay, and was pretty mad when i told him she called, and laughed when i told him what she wanted.

A few days later he told me that Tiffiny was threating to charge him with statutory rape if he didnt quit seeing me..she was 17 he was 21. We still talked, but didn't see much of each other. He told me later she also told him that she had someone who would hurt me if we didn't stay away from each other. It wasn't long after that before Tim showed up.

We went out for about 2 months before it happened...it ws the day before my 21st birthday. We were at my house, he was supposed to give me my present that day because i was working the next. He brought a movie that he rented. The only VCR we had was in my bedroom. I told him i didn't really want to watch a movie, but he said his vcr was broken, and he wanted to at least see it once before it had to go back. So we went up to watch his movie. Not too long into it he decided to go downstairs and get us drinks. Even though we had diet and regular pop in cans, he put mine in a glass with ice...said there wasn't any diet cold. I thougth there was, but didnt think it was worth arguing about. So we started watching the movie...he was sitting on the floor and i was sitting on the bed. The next thing i knew i woke up lying down on my bed with Tim on top of me. I tried squirming away but my 4'10" / 110 pounds didnt have much chance against his 6'3" /180 pounds. I oculdnt believe he was so bold...my parents werehome downstairs, but i was too scared and embarrassed to scream, and could barely breathe under his weight anyway. After, he popped his tape out, said "See ya later babe" and left like nothing happened. Some birthday present.

Tim kept calling, and following me around. He said he was pissed because i still had his suede Army jacket and he wanted it back. I told him i didnt have it anymore, which was true...i took a knife and shredded it up, and threw it in the garbage.

For the longest time he kept showing up wherever i went. One day about 3 years later when i was at the mall with a friend i saw him and bolted the other way. Mike, the friend i was with, wanted to know why i was acting so freaky, but i wouldn't tell him.

A few weeks later Mike met me getting off the bus at the mall between school and work. He said i looked like i was gloating and wanted to know what was up. I had written a poem fom my English 102 class and my professor was publishing it, with my permission, in the school's literary amgazine. It was about what happened with Tim, the poem TAINTED on my webpage. It was the first time i had done anything to get it out of me...i never told anyone or wrote about it before. Reluctantly i let Mike read it, and i was so glad i did. I didnt have to come right out and say it, and i didnt have to live with it alone anymore. He was very supportive and wanted to go "slaughter Tim". But i wouldnt tell him who it was, and i didnt even know where he lived anyway. ANd i didnt want my friends getting hurt because of me. Mike said if he ever found out what Tim looked like and saw him, he didnt know what he might do.

It was such a relief. I didn't have to explain why i was so afraid to get close, why i freaked when someone held me down to tickle me, why sometimes i just dont like to be touched. He had always honered my feelings, but know understood them. I wasnt alone anymore. And the next time i saw Tim when i was with Mike and some other friends, they knew looking at my face who he was. I didnt see him until he knocked against me walking past. Mike looked at my face, looked at Tim, and said "It's him" They grabbed him by the jacket, told him to stay away from me, and got him kicked out of them mall....being friends with mall security definitely has its advantages.

I didnt find out until later how Tim came to ask me out in the first place. I was downtown and ran into Zach, so we had lunch together. He asked if i was still with Tim and i started crying. I told him what happened, and he got this strange look onhis face. He told me that Tim was a friend of Tiffiny and she told Zach she had him ask me out to keep me away from Zach.

Tink
website: www.geocities.com/ravinwindi/index.html
im: ravinwindy


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