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Survivor Stories

I am a twenty five year old male victim of rape. It happened when I was fifteen, and the assaulter was a woman. I'd asked her for a cigarette, and she told me that she'd left them in her(hotel)room. I followed her up, and while I was there she made me perform coition and cunniligus. There was very little force, or coecion on her part, but I did NOT want to.

I think I could have overpowered her,but I did not want to hurt her. I also didn't realise that she was raping me untill years later. Even then I didn't report it out of guilt, shame, fear, and a reasonable supposition that I wouldn't be beleived.

I'm not sure how much this experience has effected me. I've read that it can cause confusion of sexual identity, and preferrence. While I can accept the former, the latter smacks of homophobia. For general referrance, I am bisexual, and have no insecurities about my masculinity. (I eventialy got over a bad bout of castration angziety) Concidering the fact that the general psyciatric community is still debating whether or not homosexuality is a treatable disease, I'll concider the jury still out on this particular point.

Ruby


I am not giving my e-mail because this is my mom's computer. I am 15 years old and my now ex-boyfriend raped me when I was 13. I have never told anyone about it.

He and I had been dating for about two years and I had learned to trust him. He did drugs and smoked and all that. I never got into that because I thought if I stayed out of it I would set a good example. My parents were completely against me dating him. I did not listen and I now wish that I had.

He came by my house and asked me to go on a bike ride. I was thrilled I thought that it would be perfect I would be alone with this nice guy who cared about me and away from my family. He took me into the woods and started to kiss me he then preceded to force me to have oral sex with him even though I told him no and that people would come looking for me. When he was finished with me he told me that it was my fault because I had let him learn to love me so much that he just had to do that. I don't remember everything and I don't want to. I do remember right before he left he said. "Don't tell anyone it will wreck your rep."

I believed him and when I ended up in the hospital two months later because of a sickness. I told my parents that it was consensual. It wasn't. I don't remember a lot but I do remember saying no. My ex now lives across the street and every time I go out I am faced with this.

Thank you for letting me share my story. I have never told anyone else. I now have a great boyfriend and he knows that I am not a virgin and still loves me. I have never met a stronger Christian man in my life.

Kristin


It's never easy I suppose to tell the story. I remember that I was never an outgoing person, I rarely disobeyed my parents and I was a good student. But that all changed my freshman year of high school.

I was 14 years old. There was this senior and I thought that he was the greatest thing in the world. We were best friends for months before anything happened. One day we were walking home from school and he kissed me, the next week he took me into an alley and told me that if I didn't touch his penis he would never talk to me again. I feel stupid now knowing that I could have walked away from it all, but he was my world.

It stayed that way until the end of school that year and he took me to Hulit park and he started touching me. I said no but he never listened. He forced me to give him oral sex and then later swore he would never do anything like that again and I believed him.

Things remained normal for a week or so and one day while my parents were out of town he asked me to come over. He took me into his bedroom and by then I realized what he wanted I yelled I screamed and I hit, but to no avail. There are a few people who know, but not my parents. He said that he would kill me if I ever pressed charges. 5 years later I still haven't.

It's hard not to believe that this wasn't my fault. But my boyfriend, has been understanding and reminds me when I forget. I hope that this story helps someone else. It's been five long years and the pain is still there and so fresh.

Patricia


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