I went with a friend to her boyfriend's house to stay the night. He and she went upstairs to go to bed and I was left downstairs with one of the boyfriend's friends. I had a few drinks by then; it was just to lighten the mood. The last drink he gave me made me feel funny so I stopped drinking it. I felt at ease and then I forget what happened.
I woke up with some pain in the lower area of my body and realized what just happened to me. I woke up my friend and she and I left the house. I was scared of what happened and told no one for around 3 months. When I told them what happened, no one believed me except my current boyfriend. I feel all alone and that no one is there for me when I need them. It is a sad process. I am scared all the time even with my current boyfriend who treats me like gold.
No woman should feel like this and I hope that my story will help the girls out there like me that has been raped with the use of alcohol and possibly drugs. I am 18 years old and just started college. My fears are with me forever and leading a real normal life is out of the question but I am trying.
When I was about 5 or 6 I used to go and play next door with these kids, some were my age, some were a bit older. Anyway, one day we played this game were the eldest boy ( about 15) took me to the other room as his "captive" and he told the others that in 5 minutes they had to come and "rescue me" anyway. When we got in there he pushed me on the bed and lay down on top of me and began to kiss me for ages, anyway when the kids came to "rescue" me he got off and went to theother side of the room.
Another time we made a cubby house with seperate rooms and he took me into on of the rooms and he felt all in between my legs. I remember he was eating at the time and had dropped some of his food and said he was "looking for it" but he kept fingering me. I can't remember any other times with him he moved to another state and I havn't seen him since.
An incidence happned with my cousin too. We were playing leg war, which is where you lay on your backs and push your feet against each other to see who can nock each other over. We were playing this and somehow my foot was in his groin and he had both hands around it and was moving it.
I was not raped ( thankfully ) as many have been...but itwas still scary
Ok how do i start this? It has now been the 5th year aniversery since it happened. I'm 14 now and i was raped when i was 9. i'm going to give u some background info to help u understand the hole story. i'm sorry if this upsets anyone.
I went to a day camp everyday. I had gone there since i was 4. I never thought anything bad could happend at that camp but i was wrong. There was a boy.. will call him jay... anyways jay really really liked me. He used to follow me around and i guess in a way stalked me. i remember one time he was on this big woden airplain looking through the window of my cabin watching me get changed. i just ingnored it. I also remember him trying to take my bathing suit of in the pool and him chasing me. i ignored that to. anyways i started liking him.. i mean at 9, it was just puppy love. so i went along with this thing that i liked him until one time he tried to kiss me and i didn't like it so i stoped him and someone saw it and he got introuble. after that, everynight he would call me and tell me he loved me. every single fuckin night. well anyways, i soon got sick and tired of him stalkin me and doing all the other things he did and i started to ingore him and he got mad ... that made it woerse.
on the last night of this camp, everyyear the was a bbq for all the campers and there familys. the night before this he called me again.. sigh.. and told me he loved me again.. and then i told him i didn't love him back for the first time cuz every other time i would tell him i loved him back or he would yell at me the next day. i hated that. o also another thing i forgot to mension is we did this play thing for our parents. it was just our age group and the theme was under the sea. all the girls were mermaid and all the guys were sea creatures. i remember him wanting to me a mermaid just to be with me.. cute.. not really. "jay" always used to hang out wiht these two other guys too. aaron and jeremy. the sick part is that i new aaron since i was a baby and i went to school with jeremy. they didn't stalk me the way "jay" did but they did it in the pool wiht him. i hated that too.
ok so one that night, everyone preformed something and i did the swiming show. i had just got out of the pool so i went to go tan and dry off on the picknick blankets on the field where everyones were....(we still have that blanket and when ever my family touches it i feal really sick and get all depressed and shit like that) i was all by my self. everyone else was watching the fireworks or the rockets.. wat ever it was and it was really really noisy and it gave me a headace.. thats when he came over. i was lying on the picknick blanket in my bathing suit and he came and sat on me and coved my mouth... the two other guys were holding me down. he riped of my bathing suit and just did it. i screamed but no one heard me. the rockets and shit were to fuckin load.. to fuckin load and i was 9 years old.. wat was i saposed to do... it hurt so bad and i just left my body.. pretended it wasn't there and then finally it was over... thank god.
that night i didn't talk to my parents.. i was really quiet.. they just thought i was upset camp ended i guess.
there were pictures taken of me. i have them now. i'm saving them to show my kids so maybe it will save them in the future. how i got them.. i stole them from aaron.. remember he was like my brother.. empasize the WAS part.
for the longest time i thought i was my fault. maybe i should have screamed louder or not told him loved him but for all u survivors out there u couldn't controll that and its not ur fault and did nothing to deserve it.
i've only been able to share this story now wiht you becuz of my boyfriend. hes the first guy who actually ever cared about me. besided being raped at 9 i was used my so many peeps for sex. that a hold differnt story. to give u an example, one time i was tossed litterly in the air like a doll from one person to another and used to show the best fuckin possitions. when i was 12 my friends older brothe made me give him head.. and and his other friend fucked me and theres so many more storys but the point is i was afraid to say no. and finally now that i have my boy friend jesse.. i luv u so much jesse... i can say no for the first time and he has helped me so much...also my best friend adam.. at camp this last year this guy fingered me and made me bleed cuz he opened up old scares and i started shaking that night and crying and i was a big mess and adam was there for me. i luv u ADAM and JESSE!!! thank you so much this is a special mesage for all u survivors out there.. u made it.. its not ur fault it never was.. times heals all wounds.. u will get better i promise and i love u all and if u nead to talk to me about anything feal free... and also find someone u trust. it will help i promise.. thank you so much jesse i love you.