I am a survivor of incest, unfortunately this didn't happen just once and not by the same man. It could of happened as eary as the age of four, why i say this is because i can't remeber was only what i was told that my mums boyfriend used to send me out into the yard naked while she was at work. Which now leaves me to wonder if something happened at that eary age, but really with everything else i have been through i don't think i really want to know.
I can remember though when i was 6 and another boyfirend my mum had. I would get up of a morning and sometimes awaken during the night having had a night mare and climb into bed with mum and my step father. This particular morning mum had to go out and get milk for breakfast. After she left he ran his hand down to my under wear. He told me not to tell mummy and began fondling with my gentitals he said to see how ripe i was i didn't understand what he meant at that stage. It stopped there because i started to cry. He held me and told me he wouldn't do it again.
Later in my life my mother left him and introduced me to my real father. I was eight years old at this stage. All was fine and we moved onto a sheep station in the out back of south Australia. Then he started taking me out in the car with him. He would pull up and pull his member form his trousersand ejaculate and tell me it was medicine and that i should drink his medicine. I can't even remeber if i did or not. For some reason i seem to have blocked this from my memory. I would even start taking my time doing my school work and chores to avoid going with him. Later my mum fell pregnant so we had to move back to the city. We lived in a bus that dad and mum decked out thats when things got worse. He would wait till mum had her shower and he would be lying in bed and would call out to me to come into his room he would lay me on the bed and try and stick his member inside of me. He would always make sure i was dressed and back in bed bythe time mum got back from the shower. This all went on for 12 months till mum had my sister and he left with another woman because mum had another girl. I was so happy when he left. He would use things so i wouldn't tell mum like telling me if i told mum she would think i was bad and stick me in a home for naughty boys and girls. Another thing as it approached christmas i had asked santa for a bike and he would say if you tell santa will think your bad and bad girls don't get christmas presents.
Everything was fine mum returned to my step father. Then when i was 14 he started fondling with my breasts. I yelled at him as mum was not home and told him don't you start this i had my own father do things to me. Needless to say he never did anything again. I finally told my mum what happened when i was 19, but i only told her and anyone else about what my real father did.
I have also been through several other types of abuse including being the victim of wife beating form an alcholic boyfriend for three years from when i was 17 to when i was 20. Also i was raped by my husband. he would help himself to my body while i was alseep. Which at the time thought this was just part of marraige but when i talked to people who i was working with they pointed out that this was rape. My husband also forced me to do anal sex which i found most painfull so asked him to stop i had to ask him 5 times before he finally pulled out and i bled for the next 24 hours from the rear passage. Today i have finally told someone about my other incest incidents that my step father endured on me. A wonderful guy i met on the net and have told face to face and now i am getting help. I am starting to finally find myself after all these years I am now aged 35 years, it i know will be a long road but with his help and my wanting to survive, i will become strong and he and ! i will grow together as one. Sorry if some of this is a bit graphic but it helps to get it all out.
I do not know for sure if i was molested or not, i just remember vivid memories of when i was about 4 or 5 when i lived on the military base in germany, Well sometimes i get these weird memories of me being in the basement of the apartments I lived in and I was with this boy that was older than be but i cant remember how old he was, well anyways sometimes when we were down there he would tell me to pull down my panties and he would touch me down there forcing his fingers inside me, it continued more times then that, I got really scared and was going to tell his dad or his sister but he threatened me and I was really scared to tell my parents. Right now I am 14 and I have only had the guts to tell my best friend, who was also molested at the same age as me, I am still afraid to tell my parents because they have enough to worry about well I am just glad I have found a website like this to tell my story to.
I was six years old when it happened. i was baby-sited by a teenager in our tralier park. she had a yougher brother that was about 12 years old. one day she was running late and i was alone with him. he asked me straight out "do you want to do it with me" i didn't know what "it" was so i said yes. the rest you can figure out. i'm confused though. was it really rape?